victory over Swedish Hieroglyph Man!

We just successfully assembled our kitchen table.

I only made one egregious mistake along the way. I consider that a victory. (Those are Temporary Chairs. Real Chairs to follow, as soon as we agree on some.)

pretty pictures!

Finally:
The formerly lead-paint tainted closet doors have been taken outside, stripped, sanded, repainted, given new hardware & re-hung. Now a) we're cool if any children or pregnant women want to come over & lick our walls, and b) I can put my shoes away. Good times.

And from the Tah-Dah! Dept:
I think the towel bar should be a little lower ... but screw it. We have a bathroom! For those of you who are keeping score at home, this pic features:
Pedestal sink from Home Depot: $214
Light from Restoration Hardware Outlet: $52
Bead Board from Stock Lumber: approx $2.50/sq. ft.

It's really hard to photograph a shower that's perpetually back-lit during the day, but hopefully you can tell that we have two (2!!) shower heads -- a rain bath in the ceiling, and a hand-held on the wall.

The storage would be completely installed & allowing me to unpack some of those effing boxes marked "bathroom", if it wasn't for the broken hinge-thingy from Ikea. The Mr. got us a replacement one yesterday, but since I don't speak Needlessly Cruel Swedish Drawings, I'm waiting for contractor-guy to install it tomorrow.
Shelves: $6 each
Brackets: $10/pair
Cabinet: $89
all Ikea
(And yes, I know the brackets don't quite reach the front of the shelves. Since we only plan to store towels on them, I figure they'll hold.

I imagine those will feel really good under foot. I could tell you that with certainty if it wasn't for the fact that we have no hot water in there. As in: I was standing there for over five minutes watching the water run, taunting me with its refusal to rise above Icy Cold. Wrapped in a towel, Ready. To. Bathe. At. Home! I placed a call to contractor-guy, who informed me that he hadn't yet tested/adjusted/what-the-fuck-evered the water yet, but he plans to in the morning. Oh my effing god my shower is a cock tease somebody help me!!! Also: to the students in the 2 classes I have to teach this afternoon -- I'm sorry.

But other than that, I'm rather pleased with how the color scheme turned out. The Mr. has expressed doubts about the shower curtain's stripey-ness (Thomas O'Brien for Target), but I think it ties in the tiles, towels & wall pattern rather extremely-genius-like. Or maybe I'm just giddy from the fumes?

aaaaand we're back!!!

Phew! I was seriously turning a shade somewhere between cerulean & indigo there, waiting for our FUCKING INTERWEBS TO GET WORKING. Ahem. I'm sorry. I don't mean to swear. (Really. I try not to. I just suck at not-swearing.)

In case anyone has been wondering about the brevity/simplicity of my recent (aka post-move) posts, allow me to elucidate: We had DSL service at the apartment, with a small-ish provider whose service/pricing/support we adored. So naturally we tried to just shift our account with them to the new Owned By Us address. We had to wait 5 (five!!) days, because AT&T makes you suffer if you don't use their 'net service, for the phone to get "turned on". I guess the guy who had to flip a switch was busy that week. Anyway, once the 5-day time frame had elapsed: still no 'net. So we called, and were asked to wait ANOTHER 2 (two!!) days for a technician to come out & investigate.

Which he did. I was here. And a Very Large Dude, who was surprisingly friendly AND helpful, played with some wires outside the house (even though it was raining). And he diagnosed us as 3000 ft. too far from the DSL hub to get service. (Insert Lumbergh voice here:) "Greeaaaaat."

So: back to square 1. Call cable company. They'll come out in 3 (three!!) business days. Except that the 3rd day was Effing President's Day. (Stoopid Presidents.) So we just. finally. got. service. today.

(By the by, my interim posts were made via a nifty iPhone app called BlogWriter. I was very pleased with the results. Get the free version, unless you have the urge to post photos -- then it's a worthwhile $1.99. But you can't delete posts ... hence the bewildering stuff that I just got rid of, from my "learning curve" phase.)

At any rate: Howdy! I'm still here! And we still have no bathroom to speak of. (Epic Construction Timing Fail.) But here's what we do have:
An uber-fancy new light/fan, with switches that independently control both functions! And paint! And some bead board (slightly visible)!

A couple of fixtures! Including a rain bath shower head, and that awesome outlet-find light for over the (eventually) medicine cabinet.

And various kinds of flooring! That's the river rock stuff in the shower floor, and those (totally my fault, expensive-ish) penny tiles on the rest of the floor. Also, a better look at the bead board.

Now all we need is for the Effing Grout to dry, so we can re-connect the toilet. That's all I care to say about that ... except that NO, I'm NOT enjoying this part.

2 steps forward ... 2 steps back

That's not a scientific rendering of the number of steps we've taken, in any direction, by the way. I'm just sitting here humming Paula Abdul songs (and now, so are you. You're welcome.) And yes, I know I keep fiddling with the heading of this here re-purposed blog. It's a work-in-progress. Also, I'm indecisive. But moving on:

We have a fridge! Check it out:
That's the Mr., a) looking cute, and b) showing off our excellent handiwork in getting all the shelves/drawers/etc. properly situated. I had no idea fridges were so complicated. Here it is from the outside:
Pretty! We got a sweet deal -- it's a brand-new last-year's model, courtesy of a giant warehouse out in the porn end of the valley. No website (?!?!), but they're at 8930 Mason Avenue, Chatsworth 91311.

We're also pretty much sorted on lighting, at least as far as fixtures go. We made a trip out to the Restoration Hardware Outlet in Camarillo, where we found this:
Ours has the brushed nickel finish, to go with the rest of our hardware. Also, that's totally the tile I've decided I no longer want! (But more on that later.) Again brand-new -- probably an internet return (so now you know where stuff goes when you buy online & return it: Camarillo) and they were giving an extra 20% off bath stuff "just because" that day, so outlet + sale = $51. Or as I prefer to call it, 25% of retail. Woo effing hoo!

After much more dithering about styles that one of us loved & the other hated-with-vehemence, we found these at Ikea:
Calypso, for the bedroom; and one that they don't have on the website yet but it's pendant-y & white & fun & cool, for the office. I'll post a pic once we've hung it. And by "we" I mean "our awesome handy-hombre".

So that's the cool stuff. And then, from the Dept. of Destruction: guess what was underneath all that tile in the bathroom?
MORE TILE!! We now officially have more tile than a Mexican restaurant in this house. And while I don't really dig the colors, the stuff they covered up was actually nicer than the stuff on top. Aaarggh!! Who the eff were these people? (Answer: the same people who cut through supportive studs to install windows & doors where-the-heck-ever they pleased, and did it without permits of course, which our guys now get to fix. Thank goodness for flat-fee contractors.) I'll get some more pictures of the mayhem tomorrow, but in the meantime:
Why yes, that is a demo'd bathtub on our front porch. And we're happy to see you!

stop the presses: we agree on something!

Actually, we agree on 2 things: 1) the kitchen, as purchased, was atrocious; and 2) these light fixtures:
As of today, the kitchen is the most un-changed room** ... BUT! after emailing him 15+ (at least) ideas for light fixtures, I stumbled upon the ones pictured above, to Our Mutual Delight. They're available at Shades Of Light (which is in Virginia, and therefore charges no sales tax in CA -- haha!! Screw you, Ah-nold & the Legislature!) and we're eagerly awaiting their imminent arrival via FexEx.

** why yes, I DID re-paint the entire house myself. NO, I don't need a hobby -- thank you.

Also, after talking to four (4!) contractors, two (2!) of whom deigned to flatter us with a bid, we're moving forward with our remodeling plans. Up next: a brand-new, shiny bathroom & LOTS of rugs to cover the hideous floors.

Oh, and some pics. Eventually. Really, I swear.

cost breakdown: candy buffet

One of the biggest "non-practical" elements of our wedding was our candy buffet. (It's also one of the only things featured in wedding magazines that I fell in love with. What can I say? I'm not completely impervious to pretty pictures.) I'm sure that we could have come up with a less expensive cost-per-guest party favor, but I figured that people had earned their sugar comas after all the dancing at our reception!

We had 9 different containers in our buffet: 3 apothecary jars & 2 decorative plates, all snagged at Ross. (I started looking very early in our planning process, in order to take advantage of post-Christmas sales. I basically grabbed anything white or metallic I could get my hands on.) I got creative when I found 2 big mercury class candle holders at Target (I just covered the pointy thing in the bottom with tissue paper), and I made a cake stand from a tutorial on OnceWed.com. At the last minute, I found a giant clear-glass vase that I already owned -- score!

Total: $69.18



For the candy, I realized pretty quickly that while lots of websites out there offer "discount bulk candy", the overnight shipping required to get it to Southern California in the summer, hopefully without melting, was a potential budget-buster. I got as much of it as I could at a local warehouse in downtown L.A.

10 lbs. each grapefruit sour gummies, butterscotch & Hershey's kisses = $68.88.

I got the rest from 2 online resources, and went for the 2-day shipping in protective packaging (still cheaper than overnighting it) just before temps soared for the summer.

10 lbs. each 7-up jelly bellies & white jordan almonds from bulkfoods.com = $99.56 + approx. $60 shipping.
10 lbs. "milkies" (like M&M's, but without the "M" so cheaper) & 5 lbs. champagne bubbles from Groovy Candies = $115.85 + approx. $40 shipping.

I also got 5 lbs. of white mints from Smart & Final for about $10. And somehow I got it into my head that I'd have a) the time, and b) the skill to make a thing or two. Yeah, I know ... overly ambitious = me. Fortunately, after my test run turned out poorly, I found these at Target:

White Oreos! Who knew?! (I didn't.) About $10 for 3 bags.

I made the signs for each container with leftover cardstock from our invitations -- printed at Kinko's -- and attached it with ribbon I found on sale. Instead of buying pricey labels from some online site, I printed some using Word on my home computer:

They seemed to get what I wanted to say across ... and I already had those labels, so they were free.

We decorated the table with the leftover bubble liquid bottles from our ceremony, and some matchbook notebooks that I made. I used the cardstock samples I'd bought when looking for our invitation paper, plus stamps that were in the set used on our invitations & plain computer paper. The upside to doing things yourself = re-purposing your leftovers!


I found the big scoops at a local party supply store (about $10) & decorated them with the same ribbon as on the container signs, and got the bags through a wholesale company. (I ended up with twice the amount I needed, so after selling the extras on Craigslist, they cost a net $13.)

Altogether, the candy buffet cost us about $545. Admittedly, it was kind of an extravagance, and I might have changed my mind if I'd known about the extra $100 in shipping charges from the beginning ... but it turned out beautifully, our guests loved it, and I was really proud of myself for pulling it off. So if anyone out there is planning something similar, I hope you find this useful!

hello lethargy, my old friend

I knew this would happen. After the last two days' absurd level of productivity, today came up bust. And yet I feel like I've been "doing stuff" for hours. Sure, most of that was cursing at my bank & resetting my Target.com password. Oh, and ascertaining that I am in fact teaching tonight -- which was apparently meant to be a surprise. (Boo!) I love it when that happens.

Beyond that, I managed to replace a few out-of-stock items on our registry with things that are still available, update the list of RSVPs, and realize that the Mr. & I really do need to collaborate on the whole honeymoon registry idea ... but at least we have an account now. That's the good news.

The bad news is that we waited too long to make a deal with a hotel in L.A., and my I-hate-that-piece-of-crap cell phone currently only transmits voices via the speaker function. And my brain seems to be incapable of tallying any more receipts. Won't they organize themselves if I continue to stare at the pile on my desk?

Which is (yet another reason) why I am oh-so-grateful for Mr. UB and his amusing ways. Via text:

Him: Pierre just asked if we'd like some tropical fish linens as art touches on the buffet tables, and some tiki torches. I said yes linens, no torches. Sound good?

Me: (gulp) Not sure about fish linens - might clash with rest of decor. Can we see a pic?

Him: He says they're black with colorful tropical fish.

Now, I think that thus far I've been pretty damn zen about a lot of things. The band we wanted doubled their asking price: hello, iPod. One of the groomsmen is too broke to fly out: ask a friend to step up, or we'll just have uneven numbers. We don't have a fancy "getaway car" for the photos: will anyone even remember that?

Also -- I love me some Pierre. The guy is giving us such a deal that he'd be justified in just tossing the food out the window as he drives by. But instead he keeps thinking of all these additional touches to add in for free. But this horse needs to be reined in pronto.

Me: (trying not to hyperventilate) Gently suggest that the seashells are a minor decor touch. This isn't the Enchantment Under the Sea ball.

Him: Oh crap, I just approved one of the waiters to be dressed as a great white shark a la Eagle vs. Shark.

Okay, perhaps I deserved that.

Him again: And I've got a midget dressed as an octopus wearing a sombrero filled with chips & salsa -- for the cocktail hour.

He makes me laugh. But I still may strangle him -- I haven't quite decided.

And then I got this text from his former roommate:

I'm going to be there! Not bringing anyone, can't wait to meet your bridesmaids. You got a sister?

It's a good thing I live on the ground floor ... because I may just jump out the window.

goodies in the mail, and other things that make me happy

I am officially a fan of Etsy. I love working with the vendors on there, because they are so accomodating and helpful. When I wasn't sure what color seam binding to get, I got this:
from here ... which I used like this:
to make these:

Also on Etsy, I've been eyeing one of these:
which I found in this shop. But I wasn't sure which color would best match my dress. I asked the seller to describe them, and she did better than that:
This stuff makes me so darned happy. It's rare to get anything in the mail that's not a bill or crap advertisements. And both times, I looked at the return address on the envelope and thought, "Who the heck sent me this?!?", only to be made all smiley by the prettiness inside.

Another thing I got in the mail, which was less mysterious as an envelope because it had the company's logo on it, was these:
I read about them on Budget Savvy Bride's blog, where she raved about them. And while they're not exactly fancy wedding china, our beach party is hardly going to be a formal affair. Plus, I like how eco-friendly they are. So far, I'm pretty impressed with the company's prompt & friendly customer service.

Other random happy-making things: I've started rehearsals for the play I booked. I'm going to be playing Faye Dunaway, Cher, Kim Basinger, and a couple of free-floating bimbos. We're all having way too much fun with this show. (Side note: to the guy who tried to chat me up yesterday by asking if I was an actress ... what gave me away? The fact that I was holding a script? Or that I was walking toward the door of a theater? Nothing gets past you, does it Sherlock?)

I found this material at a sidewalk sale:

$5 for the whole bolt. I think I'm going to make table runners from it. Or rather, I'm going to ask my friend Meg, who can sew, to help me make table runners from it.

My fiance makes me very freakin' happy. He just does.

I just found out that our rings are in. We're going to pick them up Thursday morning. The jeweler managed to sell $374 worth of the materials we gave them, to help offset the cost. Yay, offsetting any cost!

Oh, and this. This makes me very happy:
Booya.

pretty and cool

source

White & green striped orchids. I have no idea if they're available in California in August, but I love them anyway. For the centerpieces -- not the bouquets.

Sometimes, you just gotta have a wishlist.

plodding along with paper products

I've been wanting to make lined envelopes, to fancy up our invitations a little. And I finally figured out how to do it, without spending $$ plus shipping to order a template that I'll never use again.
All I needed was this stuff, a roll of wrapping paper from the clearance aisle at Target that cost 85¢, and a box of 150 leftover Ivory A7 envelopes bought from a girl in Westwood. (Again, Sir Craig, I salute you.)

Step 1: grab a used manila folder
Step 2: carefully measure one of the envelopes you'll be lining, and subtract about 1/2" from the width & height for the ideal liner size. Cut the manila folder into a template to trace onto the wrapping paper.
Step 3: dig remainder of manila file from trash for when you screw this up the 1st time, and try again
Step 4: start cutting!

I'm not sure exactly how long this took, but I watched most of "The Biggest Loser" last night, and listened to a fair amount of Jim Rome's radio show this morning. (Yes, I'm demographically schizophrenic. What of it?)

How many envelope liners does one average-sized roll of wrapping paper make?
About 60.

I made an assembly line to keep from losing my place (and mind). First, I cut the wrapping paper & placed each liner inside an envelope. Then I went back through my stack & glued the liners down. Finally, I used a bone folder to crease the liners along the envelope fold.

The best part is how well everything is matching so far.

That sheet of paper is the stationary for our invites. The ribbon below is what's going to bind the various pieces together.

The colors of the liner look a little grayer on film than they are in person -- everything's a really nice, creamy palette.

In the rest of my spare time, I've been working on these:

I bought 12 styrofoam balls, but only need 6 to hang on the chairs at our ceremony. The decorator lady from our party venue suggested re-using them to decorate the patio at the party, which I think is a great idea -- so I'm just going to make all 12 into these paper pomanders. (Original project how-to found here.) It occurred to me that we could hang 2 from each chair at the ceremony ... but I'm wondering if that won't make it appear as if our chairs have testicles. Thoughts?

... Is all of this starting to erode my sanity? Why do you ask?

now that's just silly

Okay, this is only tangentially related to wedding planning, but I can justify it on the grounds that a) it started as a thought about Our Future Home decor, b) swung past a Former Idea For B'maid Gifts, and c) well, it's just a blog, afterall. And my damn blog, at that. Besides, I sometimes need to come up for air, y'know?

So yesterday was my first day in a long while working for one of my personal assistant clients. How long a while? He didn't know I was engaged. I'd suspected that the reasons for my discontinued employment could've been a) he's in the financial biz, and may have needed to cut expenses, b) his new girlfriend wasn't crazy about me being around (Errand Monkeys can be very ... threatening?) or c) reports of my untimely demise had been slightly exaggerated. At any rate, he's a zero-maintenance client, and I'm glad to be working for him again. (He's also single again ... any gals out there within spitting distance of Pasadena? There's a good one on the market.)

One of the things he's been up to is renovating a house with his brother. I went by yesterday to take notes on a few remaining projects, and had to bite my tongue not to blurt out "I love it! We'll buy it!" Mainly because I thought I should run things by Mr. UB before making such a commitment. But it put my brain back into its "I can't wait 'til we start making a home together" groove.

And then I found an ad for Engrish.com in my inbox. For the un-initiated, Engrish is the peculiar, ubiquitous mangling of the English language on signs/advertisements in Asian countries. I have a weakness for it because I spent a year in Japan when I started modelling. The stuff is everywhere, and it's often hysterical. To wit:
I kinda want this poster next to the bathroom mirror. Just in case I forget why I'm there.

I'd originally thought of these as b'maid gifts:
But I'm pretty sure they already know that.

And I have no idea who these would be for, but I love them anyway:



Unfortunately, I'm not making any frivolous purchases right now. But I'm saving the link.

paper pomander post-mortem

Mr. UB has weighed in, and in his (inimitable) words, "The second one looks like a box of Kleenex exploded."

So, as a general service to a) E. , who asked; b) anyone out there who's thinking of making these; and c) any of the parental units who're contributing to our budget who happen to see this ... the cost break-down per unit is:

styrofoam ball: $1.54 each (as pack of 12, from this eBay seller)
seam binding: $2.10 ($0.30/yd, bought here on Etsy)
craft paper: about $1.79 (at Michael's)
pearl head pins: about $1.25 (at Michael's & Moskatel's)
craft punch: $4 (at Michael's, with coupon)

Total = approx. $6.68 plus pro-rated cost of the craft punch (tbd at the end of all this nonsense; currently $0.66/ea.) = approx. $7.35 per pomander.

Which I maintain is still quite a bit more economical than the average "real" flower pomander. If you have evidence to the contrary, please comment & let me know!

poufy things

Our ceremony site is pretty freakin' spectacular:
It's also a city park, which means lots of restrictions. Fortunately, the Pretty, the Rules, and Our Impoverished State all converge in one lovely reality: not a lot of ceremony decor. Don't need it, can't have it, couldn't afford it anyway.

We're basically going to have a few rows of chairs with an aisle runner in between them. I want to hang some pomanders from the chairs along the aisle to pretty things up. I've been looking into chair rental companies in San Francisco (how did people get anything done before the internet?) and I've decided on the first thing I Want But Am Officially Giving Up:
I always thought that I wanted -- had to have, even -- these chiavari chairs at the ceremony. They're classic, they're gorgeous ... and they don't come cheaper than $8/chair. Plus delivery. Since that's not going to happen on our budget, enter Team B:
Not quite as uptown, perhaps, but a lovely, respectable chair nonetheless. And they're white, which kinda fits with the whole "we're having a wedding" theme of our event. And at $2.25, they're much, much friendlier.

Now all I need is a way to get them to the site on our own. A $200 delivery charge on $65 worth of chairs seems a little ... ridiculous. But back to the poufy stuff:

I completed my test run on the two d.i.y. paper pomanders, and I think we have a pretty clear winner.

First, the paper punch & pearl-headed pins version, courtesy of Once Wed. (The grey bow is just what I had lying around the apartment. I'll get the green seam binding for the real ones.) Pretty, elegant, easy to make, not too-time intensive (about 2 hours) and we can cart 'em back to L.A. for the reception without too much trouble. Second ... sigh. Budget Savvy Bride's blog is where I got the idea, but hers looks ... less sucking-out-loud ... than mine does. I couldn't make the paper stop being too flat/too clumpy as I unfolded it. And I didn't hot-glue the wires in so I could re-use the styrofoam ball, but it's pretty precariously constructed in it's current state. It looks a little less "classic wedding", and a little (okay, a lot) more "my 5 year-old niece made this in kindergarten" than I was hoping for.

So far, we've got Chair B and Pomander A. And one more poofy thing, to boot:
My petticoat has officially acquired its green tulle layer. Also, my dress is no longer too short. Mad, mad love for R & L Tailors on Pico.