ohmygoshthankyooouuu!!

We just booked our restaurant for the post-ceremony dinner! (No, it's not "the reception" -- that's in L.A. Because I like to make things complicated.) The ever-amazing His Dad came through, thanks to a friend at a restaurant & a little negotiating savvy. We've got a really yummy 3-course menu (apps, entrees & dessert) that includes 2 drinks per person, plus no corkage fee for one case of champagne. Woo freakin' hoo!!

Also, it's pretty.
I don't know if this will be our space, but it's one that the website let me grab, so there you are. It's gonna look kind of, if not exactly, like this.

I am SO excited that this is done. It was one of the last major pieces missing from our puzzle, and I'm hugely relieved to have it clicked into place. Best of all: it's really close to our hotel, an easy cab/public transport ride away. (S.F. caveat to any potentially ambitious walkers: remember those streets aren't flat. They're HILLS!) Oh, and it fits our budget: just under $2800 for 43 people. Unbelieveable.

Also, a major shout-out to My Dad, who gave me a list of about a dozen alternate places to look at, if this one didn't come through. My brain was waaay too frazzled to do that -- you are a rock star.

If you're in the city, please give these people some love! Belden Taverna

Houston, we have a venue!

Not that I think the city of Houston would care. And while my Gay Ex-Boyfriend's last name is pronounced "Houston", I frankly don't think he's aware of our wedding plans, and it would be odd, to say the least, for me to call him out of the blue & inform him. (How I ended up dating a gay man for 11 months is a story for another day. Which I may or may not get to. Moving on.)

We found a venue for our L.A. fiesta!

(images from their website)

This is Malibu West Beach Club. It's exactly what we need -- a great big room, in a gorgeous location, for an affordable price. They even want you to BYO vendors, which means we can make full use of our friends' offers to help us with stuff like drinks & food.

It already has a dance floor, and the cost of the rental includes tables & chairs and the clean-up fee. It has a great food-prep kitchen, complete with wet bar. They also have big tables for things like a buffet, cake and favors.

The best part: weekday rentals are discounted at 50% of the regular rate. Everything from pricing to available dates are easily found on their website. (Side note: why the hell are most places so damn coy about those things?!?) They don't consider Friday to be a "weekday" -- grammatically amusing, even as it's fiscally understandable. My favorite quote from our meeting with their event coordinator: "Monday is the new Friday." Um, okay. And Tuesday is the new October. Whatever -- we love it and we can afford it. Done.

Now there's just the simple matter of squaring the whole "small S.F. ceremony followed by big, informal L.A. party" thing with the nay-sayers. Normally, I wouldn't consider their opinions worthy of a vote. Except that the loudest member of said camp is Mr. UB. (Yes, exactly -- oh dear.)

To be fair, the exactly 5 people who don't live an easy car drive from one city or the other are all his family & friends. (Well, I really hope that my friend Carla will be coming from Italy, but I'm waiting to sort all of this crap out before I talk logistics with her. Otherwise she might buy a plane ticket for the wrong date/city.) I came up with the extraordinarily novel idea that he should, rather than just fretting silently/arguing with me ... you know, call and ask them. (I know. I'm a rare sort of genius. It's my cross to bear.)

His buddy in Florida promptly responded, "Dude, it's your wedding -- of course I'll be there." Of course, a) he's in the wedding, which necessitates the S.F. part, and b) he's "an enthusiastic heterosexual" who knows that many of my S Girls will be at the L.A. party. But who am I to question the man's motives? I'm just thrilled to hear that it's not a problem. One down.

His friends from New York are also in the wedding -- both of them. Groomsman (him) and Officiant (her). We need them, to say the least. Fortunately, they can make our new date in S.F. (phew!), and are going to try to combine our L.A. party with an already-planned trip to see her parents in Santa Barbara. Perfect! (They'll actually be closer to the north end of Malibu, coming from S.B., than I will, living east of Hollywood.) So that's three.

Which must've been enough to tip the scales. On our way to a game show run-through today (we pretended to play the game as part of the pitch to the network) I mentioned that we need to put money down this week to keep our date for the Palace. He asked me if I really, really wanted to get married there. I said yes, and he said okay. I love him.

And in hindsight, it's probably good that I asked him before the run-through. Because as part of the game, I had to feed him a chocolate-covered onion. While he was blindfolded, and couldn't see it coming.

It's a good thing I travel with Altoids.

the "IT" in L.A.

Mr. UB & I made a jaunt out to Malibu on Saturday, to check out a lead on a possible venue for our big non-reception party in L.A. Unfortunately, it was the 1st sunny Saturday of the year (please don't hate us if you live in colder climes -- it's really the only thing we have going for us) and it took twice as long as planned to get there. Fortunately, the lovely Ms. M. who manages the venue was as laid-back as can be.

It's waaay out in the far end of Malibu, which is a city that's 27 miles long and 10 feet wide. So it really does feel like a "destination" setting, without leaving the city. I forget sometimes that L.A. is hiding gems like this. See, we (especially me) live on the east side of town, where we specialize in making grungy look "hip". East Side Bride does this far better than I could ever hope to ... but at any rate, I sometimes forget how much prettiness lies to our immediate west.

So this is what greeted us upon arrival. A great big room, complete with dance floor, paper lanterns & drapey fabric stuff. We (especially me) are happy. (It turns out you have to arrange the decor-y stuff with a decor vendor lady. But her site gives us hope that she's not out of our price range. We're calling her first thing in the a.m.)
This is the alcove off the main room. Table spill-over & buffet stuff could go back here.

Mr. UB wisely thought to test out the dance floor before we signed anything. Also, I need to officially admit that, even in light of the evidence above, I am the goofy one in this relationship. The man has the patience of Job, really.

(I'm going to marry him. /giggle)

Outside, there's a great big patio. They do ceremonies here at sunset, and/or set up an outside bar. Oh, and the view doesn't suck:
The best part is that this place includes tables, chairs, the dance floor and clean-up in its rental fee. It's also zoned for live music until midnight. Oh, and if you rent it on a weeknight (Mon. - Thurs.) you get it for 50%. Which could be quite easy to pull off in mid-August.

No, I'm not telling you where it is until we book it, so no one snakes our date. Then I promise to sing its praises to the moon.

Also, in the course of composing this entry, I think I've decided that our 1st dance together needs to be to something by Ray LaMontagne. Which doesn't narrow it down, really, since I love everything by him. Please go to iTunes immediately if you don't know his stuff.

whirlwind venue search breakdown

We saw a ton of places in S.F. on Tuesday, in our attempt to see if there's another venue we love that fits our budget. First stop: Golden Gate Park, which Mr. UB's sister & her husband were kind enough to live near. (Thanks, guys!) Candidate #1: The Shakespeare Garden:
Okay, that's pretty darn sweet. It even has an aisle. The sundial's a little inconveniently placed, but hopeful my Dad would be able to prevent my walking directly into it. (I'm a rare level of clumsy.) Here's the reverse view of the arbor:

(He's so cute.)

The rest of the space looks like this:
It's not very big, but neither is our wedding. And I have a deep affinity for all things Bard. Still, in the late summer/fall, those trees will no longer be blossoming. (I asked. They said no. The nerve.) So it's a "Strong Maybe," but there's lots left to see.

Candidate 2: The Chinese Pavillion:
It's in the middle of a big lake in the park, and it looks really pretty, nestled among all that greenery. Close-up, it's very colorful:

It even has a cute little bridge that we could make into a pseudo-aisle:
But there's a stone (read: immovable) table surrounded by stone stools dead-center in the middle of it. And it has a rail inside that would make seats very hard to arrange, even in the round. Plus, I think Mr. UB put it best: "It makes a very strong cultural statement, which is neither of our cultures." Fair enough. No-go.

There was actually another place next to the Pavillion that we both really liked, but it's way too much work:
Us & our officiant up there on the bridge?

Our guests on chairs down there? Vice-versa? I know, I know ... totally impractical. But maybe some other non-satin shoe wearing bride can make it work. Moving on.

Candidate #4: The Fuschia Garden:
I hope it's more spectacular when things are blooming, because at the moment it looks like a nice little corner, but that's it. We both want something a little more ... special for our wedding. I'm sure that lady on the bench was wondering why the hell I took her picture, though.

Not-really-a-Candidate: The Conservatory of Flowers:
It's not on our list because it's too expensive. But we walked right past it & I liked the building so I took a picture. Another reason why it's out of the question: it's basically a giant hothouse. My hair would frizz.

Lest we lose our minds, a brief time-out: Random stuff in the park that made me happy:
I don't know what kind of flowers these are, but the sun was illuminating them beautifully. I felt like I was pretending to be Peonies. And speaking of Scottish people:

A free-roaming bagpiper, fully kilted-out. I love the sound of the bagpipes, but when they're played badly it sounds like cats being walked on. This guy rocked.

A cellist on the run.

The architecture junkie in me loves the deYoung Museum. You can go to the viewing platform on the top floor for free. (Hooray, free!)

You can see the whole city from up there. This is the street His Sister lives on.

The Golden Gate, peeking over a hill.

Okay -- enough screwing around. We're on a freakin' mission here, people. Back to work!

Candidate #5: The Music Concourse:
His Mom suggested it, and it is pretty. But it's exposed to one of the busiest areas of the park (between 2 museums). Oh, and it's being earthquake retrofitted, too, just like our original venue. We're not doing that again.

Leaving GGP ... Candidate #6: Levi Strauss Park:
Another place suggested by His Mom. (And by the way, our people have been amazing at rallying to help us solve this.) It's a tiny little park down by the Embarcadero. And again, it's very pretty, but the only area where you could possibly have a ceremony is tiny:

(Stoopid people walking into my frame.)

It's also privately owned, which might complicate renting it. Oh, and the only parking around it is meters, which cost 10¢ for every 2.5 minutes!!! What. The. Fuck? Never mind.

And finally ... because I made him go take a look ... Candidate The Winner: The Palace of Fine Arts:
I mean seriously, people. Look at that. And it costs the same as the other places we looked at -- $650 for three hours. It's available from May 15 until August 15. August 15th could happen.

I've obviously been thinking a lot about this whole location drama, and wondering if the urge to dig in my heels is perhaps the slightest bit 'Zilla-ish. Lucky for me, my friend Tolley called:

Her: I don't know if anyone's had this conversation with you, so if I'm over-stepping my bounds, let me know.

Me: Okay?

Her: I read about your date/location dilemma in your blog, and you're being very practical.

Me: I'm trying!

Her: I just wanted to point out that it seems like having your wedding at the Palace of Fine Arts has become your dream. Maybe it didn't exist before you acquired the ring, but it exists now.

Me: Kind of, yeah. I'd agree with that.

Her: Then will you please stop being so damn practical, and be a fucking bride for a moment? If you want that to happen and the date has to change, the people who love you will be there.

Me: Thank god you called ...

I have good friends.

This post has gotten very long, but I'm going to write more soon about this part. The "It's not the absolute cheapest way to make it happen, but it fits our budget and we love it" part. Consider yourselves warned.

gathering my thoughts

We're back, Mr. UB & I, from our lightning-fast jaunt to San Francisco, during which:
... a) we hung with his sister & her hubby (by virtue of the fact that they put us up.) They celebrate their 1st anniversary this Saturday, and how cute are they?!?:

... b) Mr. UB met my dad & my non-Cali-dwelling sister for the 1st time. (Because why not throw that in?) It went very well. My dad's a pretty laid-back kinda guy. Especially once you've asked him, as a total stranger, for his daughter's hand in marriage. Yes, I've mentioned that before. It still impresses the shit out of me.

...c) we visited 2 restaurants recommended by my Beer Babe as possible locales for a post-ceremony dinner. Verdict: we want a deal with Restaurant A to be managed by the Guy from Restaurant B. Can you set that up, Duchess? Lovely!

...d) we walked our tootsies off, searching for another ceremony location. Outcome:
** Golden Gate Park is pretty
** San Francisco is infinitely superior to Los Angeles
** I have terrible judgement regarding suitable walking shoes
** we need to see if that place in Malibu makes moving the whole thing to L.A. worthwhile
** I still like the POFA, and I'll blog soon about the advice that backs me up
** said blog shall include pictures, many of which are random.

I'm sure I meant to write about something else, but after driving back from SF & going straight to work, I've acheived the sort of tired that officially qualifies as a mental defect. I'll figure it out tomorrow.

they told me stuff would go wrong

So this happened ... I got a phone call yesterday from the lovely lady who handles weddings for the S.F. Parks Dept. And it seems that the construction timetable for the POFA has changed. Which means that we no longer have our venue on our date.

Fuck.

The weird thing is that the place will be available from May 15th through August 15th. (I don't get it either -- apparently there's going to be another "phase" of retrofitting. Whatever that means.) So we seem to have two options before us: a) new date, or b) new location.

The main reason that I'm completely open to changing the date is that we'd only picked it thinking that we could get the Palace by then. And frankly, I wouldn't mind a bit if I suddenly knew there were going to be 10 fewer weeks of this planning insanity in my life.

In a little bit of serendipity, Mr. UB & I were already planning a quick trip to S.F. on Monday, because my little sis from Ohio is going to be in town. Oh, and he still needs to meet my dad. (Yes, he "cold-called" my dad to ask for his permission to marry me. The boy has balls of steel.) So we'll be able to visit the alternate park sites that are available in August, and figure out which option makes more sense.

Thank goodness no one's bought their plane tickets yet. Sheesh.

weekend round-up

It was quite the busy weekend here at Camp Un-Bride. I didn't get any posting done because my work schedule is such that I'm busiest on Saturday & Sunday ... so Monday is actually my day to get some rest. And on that note, "thanks" to whomever rang my phone at 8:30 this morning. But moving on ...

Early Sunday morning, I drug poor Mr. UB out to the Rose Bowl flea market in Pasadena. I'd told him a few days before that I planned to go, and asked if he wanted to join me. He agreed, under no duress whatsoever -- something I needed to remind him of more than once as I tried to coax, then harangue, then physically drag him out of bed before 8 a.m. He's lucky he's so cute when he's grouchy.

Anyway, we had pretty good luck. I found these, which I'll probably use to decorate the table around our cake: They're real crystal pieces from a chandelier. I can totally re-use these afterwards to make a cool light fixture. (You know, when we eventually figure out where we're going to live.) $5.

We also grabbed two pretty metal planters. I want to use one of them to hold the programs at our ceremony, but got 2 to use later ... again, in the Theoretical Home. Whatever -- they need some cleaning up, but a) I have time for such a project at the moment, and b) the color underneath all that rust (pale green) actually goes with our wedding stuff. (left side is partially cleaned; right side is how we found them)

He thought we should leave them all "rustic" looking. I maintained that "rustic" does NOT equal "rusty", and think they'll still have that cool weathered look even once I finish scrubbing off as much gunk as I can stand. The downside to being "right" about this = I can't make him do the scrubbing. Oh well -- my hands always look like hell, anyway. (It's all the rubbing alcohol from trying not to lose my grip on the pole. You know -- at work.)

We also found one Not Really For The Wedding, But Freakin' Awesome Anyway bargain: It's a Nambe serving bowl. I didn't know what these were until my friend Tolley showed me. They're made from an 8-metal alloy that holds temperature -- hot food stays hot & cold food stays cool. I did add two of them to our registry, even though they're pricey. Macy's has the exact same bowl here for $115. I have this one for $20. To repeat a phrase I've used previously: Booyah.

Today's (Monday's) errands led to another purchase that cost less than planned. I went to buy this pretty guest book that I spotted a while back on the Crane's website: ... only to discover that it's no longer available in this color. I failed to find it anywhere else on the 'net (CL, eBay, etc. -- all the usual suspects) so I decided to see if any of the local stores who carry Crane & Co. products still had one in stock. (Besides, shipping charges = my new Enemy #1.) I struck out in the first place I tried, so I ventured a little further afield to a store in Beverly Hills. And while they didn't have that particular book, which by the way was $39 + shipping, they did have this: The flash over-exposed the photo, but it's cream-colored linen with "Guests" embossed in a simple typewriter-style font. The spool of gray ribbon next to it is the one it came with. I switched in with some green ribbon that I already had. (It's lighter than it looks in this pic). Not only do I like this size(about 10" square) better than the teensy 8x6 books that are out there, mascarading as photo album-sized in their web photos, but check this: "Perfect Guest Book"? I'll say. The store in question is William Ernest Brown on Beverly Drive. The ladies who work there are wonderfully helpful and nice. I spotted (and forced myself to give wide berth to) a large notebook labelled "Cartier Wedding Stationary" on a desk, so if you're on the hunt for higher-end goods, this is your store.

I've been doing more online reading about our ceremony venue, the Palace of Fine Arts in S.F., hoping to find out what the diameter of the rotunda is. I'm trying to see how long of an aisle runner we should get -- since they're priced by length, I don't want one that's too long. Nor do I want one that will end up looking puny if it's too short.

I found the answer to my question (1,100 feet -- I guess we better get the long one) and I also found some amazing Palace-related info. First, there's this image from an ad for the Pan Pacific Exhibition:Thank goodness we didn't do hard-copy Save-The-Dates, because I'd be filled with regret that we didn't use this image on postcards. I'd love to find a way to work this into our programs, or some other element that we'll be making/using. But even more beautiful are the Novagems.

"What are Novagems?" you might ask. Well, if you rely on Google, you might think that they're related to something incredibly nerdy. In fact, I had to look through hundreds of entries that were variations on forums talking about "... so are Nova Gems for Star Captains only or can any1 get em?" to find these:



















"More than 100,000 Novagems graced the Tower of Jewels at the 1915 [Exhibition]. The gems' mirrored backs created an incredible light show when the Tower was illuminated. Smaller Novagems, like [these], were sold as souveniers." poster & quote source

Can you imagine? Because just in case you can't, check this: Click on the picture to see a larger image. Source here.

The Tower of Jewels wasn't one of the buildings that lasted beyond the end of the Exhibition -- all of its structures were intended to be temporary. The Palace itself survived only because the citizens of San Francisco organized to save it. Somehow I think this image would be just as beautiful if it hadn't been so ephemeral ... I wonder what else was lost before there was a camera phone in every pocket to document things?

Oh, and nobody's selling those babies on eBay. I checked.

we won something!

I'll try not to feel too much like Sharon Stone at the Golden Globes, or a shut-in writing a letter to Penthouse, as I type "I never thought it would happen to me ..." BUT: I really didn't think it would. Mr. UB & I have been chosen by the super-nice folks at Minted.com as subjects for their new design challenge!

The contest is for designers -- they submit designs for any of 3 couples, for any of 3 pre-wedding events. Ours is "officially" Bridal Shower, but they can submit for Engagement Party or Rehearsal Dinner, too. We'll receive 125 pieces of the winning design, plus $250 of other Minted stationary for our wedding planning needs. (Hello, fancy pretty Thank You notes!) How cool is that?!

You can see a picture & read a little blurb about us, the other 2 couples and the contest here.

I am sooooo excited about this. Our Funky Little Budget Wedding That Could is chugging its way up the hill.

Other stuff I've done in the last few days:
1) Emailed Save-The-Dates for the ceremony invitees
1a) Braced for blow-back from family that we can't afford to invite
2) Officially asked the fabulous Christmas to be my Maid Of Honor
3) Had a nice, long conversation with Marija about the photography
4) Finally gotten in touch with the agent for the house in Malibu where we're hoping to have the LA shindig
5) Posted a listing to sell the wrong-color candy buffet bags that arrived -- and gotten a few nibbles

All in all, not a bad week. And it's only Wednesday.

luuuurrrrve!!

Once again, I am in love. Or rather, more specifically, I am in luuuurrrve. With the delectable Ania. She's a wedding co-ordinator, who fell into my lap via the beyond-lovely Mel (Camera-Op Extra-ordinaire) where I am once again working. But ... what-evers. I luuuuurrrve me some Ania. She has resources for everything from cakes & flowers to rings & decor stuff. AND she's committed to fitting into my micro-budget. I would cart her around on my shoulders if I could. She also thinks I've done a good job, on my totally uneducated, out-of-my-depth own, thus far. Woot = us!

me like-ee

I've found my first potential location for a reception, thanks to vrbo.com.




Moroccan villa with ocean view, on 4 acres of land with a private access road = hello, parking and privacy. Linens provided. Fully stocked kitchen plus outdoor BBQ grill = idea for how to feed the peeps. Catering available (does that mean they're used to renting it for parties?) Obviously I would need to go by & look at the place first, but this is the first place that's well within my price range that looks like it has serious potential.

I initially found this idea on one of those "real wedding" posts. The bride with the brainstorm used Craigslist to find hers, but I'm a little more need-to-be-sure-about-it than that. Enter the fabulous Beer Babe b-maid herself, Christmas, who suggested the above website. It has tons of listings that rent by the night/week/month, just about anywhere you can imagine finding a place to rent.

I love the idea of having a day to set up & clean up, for less than the total cost of renting a hotel/restaurant space. And we'll skip the wedding surcharge, too -- I'll just tell 'em it's for a birthday or anniversary party. (Our Zero-th?)

happy feet

In a rather stunning coup, I have managed to buy myself a pair of wedding shoes! I felt a bit odd for a moment, buying the shoes before the dress ... but my friend Mischelle did the same thing, and her shoes (red satin) helped her design the look of her whole wedding. And hey, you've got to start somewhere.

I didn't score nearly as good a deal as Broke-Ass Bride did, but I went for the same designer, found a pair on sale, and lucked into an additional in-store 20% markdown for today only. Total: $34.99 + tax. E' viola:

(photo NineWest.com)

They also come in a neutral champagne-y gold-y beige, but I love the idea of having this one bright flash of color. Especially with all the neutral decor stuff that I'm digging. (And lest I get too far ahead of myself, I think I have a purse that will go perfectly with these. Light green satin Gucci -- hehe!) So thank you! for sending the Shoe Fairy my way.

In other news, I've gotten pretty swell at Photoshop. It's amazing what you can teach yourself on the internet, between phone calls, on excruciatingly long days at work. To wit:


(Forgive the smudging -- gotta preserve a little privacy.) Since we're planning to have the ceremony & reception in two separate locations, and especially because we'll have different guest lists for each place, we need separate invites. This is my first stab at a reception card. I think I'm most happy about the vagueness ... perhaps we'll keep that, just to confuse everybody.

oh where, oh where ...

I've decided that the first order of business is figuring out where to have this little shindig. (See? I'm being decisive!) After discussing with Mr. UB the merits of both local & non-local weddings (we're in LA, by the way), we lighted upon the idea of having the ceremony in San Francisco. We're both originally from the Bay Area -- I'm from the SF 'burbs, he's from Oakland -- and we both love the beauty of the city. (San Francisco, that is. Not Oakland.)

My first thought was the Palace of Fine Arts:



Residual effects of my "I'd rather just be alone on a beach" idea, perhaps, since it's right off the bay. It also has a killer view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Mr. UB shuddered at what that might cost, but I figured it couldn't hurt to ask. Turns out, it really can be quite painful sometimes. But not in this case! GOOD NEWS: They rent the Rotunda (the round building in the pic) for $150/2 hours! BAD NEWS: It's being renovated & construction is estimated to take until 10/9/09. At least. Well, phooey.

Another place that I stumbled across online as an alternative to the POFA is the Legion Of Honor:



It's also got a killer view of the Golden Gate, but it's a little more militaristic than I'd like. Also the cost & set-up make more sense for a ceremony and reception, which isn't what we want. Basically, we're looking to do a very, very small ceremony with just immediate family & our closest friends, and have a much bigger reception closer to home. My head's already spinning with what that part is going to cost ... but I digress. So I don't think this is going to work, either.

I've been surfing all over HereComesTheGuide.com, which has tons of info on locations all over California. Holy crap! I must have REALLY good taste ... but as soon as I see "deposit is $6000" I cannot physically make my eyes focus on any of the words after that. On the off-chance that we'll end up doing the ceremony in LA, I've been looking at some of their listings down here. I found this place:



It's called the Butterfly House, and it's in Topanga Canyon. It's pretty, but the layout of the place seems a little goofy, at least in the pics on their website. GOOD NEWS: $1500/8 hours. BAD NEWS: No view of the ocean, and I'm pretty sure there's no chance of seeing the Golden Gate from there, either.

So, either I grab some plaster & terracotta paint and go fix the POFA my damn self, or it's back to the drawing board. Grrrr.