boo, hiss

The one sad response I've had from my friends who've heard about my recent engagement came from my friend L__. (I respect her privacy.) She is one of the millions of people who had basic civil rights stripped away as a result of the heinous passage of Prop 8 here in California. Mixed amongst her happiness and her well wishes, I heard her mumble, "At least no one's passed a law against your being allowed to get married."

Amen to that, my dearest L__. Amen to that. May we live to fight another day. And when you find yourself exhausted, turn your head to the side & lean on me, for I will be there beside you.

As a -born, -bred, and -residing again Californian, I am so ashamed of what happened here during the last election. And even though I believe that the outcome was swayed by specious arguments and massive influxes of money from outside our borders ... I am still left with the fact that my State, my Home, my Birthplace decided to strip equal rights away from a minority group of citizens. So I choose to state it here, on My Own Private Soap Box: that I remain devoted to the dream of equal rights for all citizens of this once-and-future Great State.

(This is for all of my friends who've been committed to their loving partners longer than most of my gov't-sanctioned hetero- married peers can dream of: Mick & Roman, Carolynn & Linda, Liz & Morgan, Keoni & Tom, Ross' sister-in-law & her wife, Melissa & her girl ... and everyone else who's held a relationship together longer than a 55-hr. Las Vegas Starter Marriage. If you are lucky enough to find someone in this crazy world to stand by your side in love & madness, may the universe bless you to the end of your days.)

* okay, upon review, I think I was a little ... overly verbose here. But what can I say? I'm pissed.

coining a term: #1

Sheepdog: (n) a person who, under the guise of "giving advice," tries to talk you out of what you really want. Common arguments include, but are not limited to: a) "you just don't understand how things are done," b) "I know better than you do," c) "your taste blows," &/or d) "have I ever mentioned that you're a complete imbecile?" Can sense wedding plans intuitively, and are likely to mulitply faster than just-out-of-Catholic-school rabbits in heat due to their resulting excitement. Name derives from an uncontrollable compulsion to lead you, most often in a direction in which you have NO desire to go.

me like-ee

I've found my first potential location for a reception, thanks to vrbo.com.




Moroccan villa with ocean view, on 4 acres of land with a private access road = hello, parking and privacy. Linens provided. Fully stocked kitchen plus outdoor BBQ grill = idea for how to feed the peeps. Catering available (does that mean they're used to renting it for parties?) Obviously I would need to go by & look at the place first, but this is the first place that's well within my price range that looks like it has serious potential.

I initially found this idea on one of those "real wedding" posts. The bride with the brainstorm used Craigslist to find hers, but I'm a little more need-to-be-sure-about-it than that. Enter the fabulous Beer Babe b-maid herself, Christmas, who suggested the above website. It has tons of listings that rent by the night/week/month, just about anywhere you can imagine finding a place to rent.

I love the idea of having a day to set up & clean up, for less than the total cost of renting a hotel/restaurant space. And we'll skip the wedding surcharge, too -- I'll just tell 'em it's for a birthday or anniversary party. (Our Zero-th?)

reality bites

Taking stock of what's Done, and Not Done, thus far ...

things I have:
a date
a ceremony venue
an officiant
a bridal party
a groom's party
a ceremony guest list (provisional)
b-maid attire
a photographer
shoes
a veil*
*work in progress

things I have ideas for/am working on:
a dress
invitations
flowers
a back-up ceremony venue*
*recommended by the good folks who are renovating our 1st choice
somewhere to have dinner after the ceremony
a day-of wedding planner
a reception guest list
reception music
reception beverages
decor ideas
favors
gift registry

things I don't have (a clue about):
groom's attire
wedding rings
a reception venue
reception food
a cake
the honeymoon
where we're going to live

When I look at the first two categories, I feel pretty proud of myself, especially considering that the ring on my hand is barely a month old. But then I scan down toward the last category ... and I notice that there's an awful lot of "big" stuff in there. Hello, disturbingly-familiar feeling of nausea.

Accessories: 2, Dress: 0

Continuing my personal trend of accessorizing a dress I do not yet own, I found a veil today. Well, to be more precise, I found someone who's going to make my veil for me today. I went to the Unique L.A. design showcase in the California Apparel Mart, where I met the fabulous Kelly. She makes these:







Aren't they beautiful? She has all of these & more available in her Etsy store, Satanica.Etsy.net.

The last picture above looks the most like the one she's designing for me, except that mine's going to be on a headpiece with a comb instead of a headband. She's also going to add a few white peacock feathers, which I absolutely fell in love with. The best part: all of the above styles range between $25 to $65 dollars.

Now: could I find something out there that costs less? Theoretically. But with the deals that I've found on my shoes & dress (I do have one in mind), I'm willing to "splurge" $10 more than my ideal price for one luxe item. Especially for something that I love.

And does it appeal to me that my freakin' bridal veil is made by a designer who's site is called "Satanica"? More than it probably should.

happy feet

In a rather stunning coup, I have managed to buy myself a pair of wedding shoes! I felt a bit odd for a moment, buying the shoes before the dress ... but my friend Mischelle did the same thing, and her shoes (red satin) helped her design the look of her whole wedding. And hey, you've got to start somewhere.

I didn't score nearly as good a deal as Broke-Ass Bride did, but I went for the same designer, found a pair on sale, and lucked into an additional in-store 20% markdown for today only. Total: $34.99 + tax. E' viola:

(photo NineWest.com)

They also come in a neutral champagne-y gold-y beige, but I love the idea of having this one bright flash of color. Especially with all the neutral decor stuff that I'm digging. (And lest I get too far ahead of myself, I think I have a purse that will go perfectly with these. Light green satin Gucci -- hehe!) So thank you! for sending the Shoe Fairy my way.

In other news, I've gotten pretty swell at Photoshop. It's amazing what you can teach yourself on the internet, between phone calls, on excruciatingly long days at work. To wit:


(Forgive the smudging -- gotta preserve a little privacy.) Since we're planning to have the ceremony & reception in two separate locations, and especially because we'll have different guest lists for each place, we need separate invites. This is my first stab at a reception card. I think I'm most happy about the vagueness ... perhaps we'll keep that, just to confuse everybody.

it's a start

I made another trip to the craft store tonight, and this time I managed to buy some stuff:

So far I've played with the hole-punch thingy (I'm hoping to use it for a few of those nifty paper pomanders) and I didn't feel too inept with it. I also unwrapped the exacto device and immediately managed to cut my finger ... everything right on schedule there. And the glue gun has water on it because I dropped it in the sink. This ... is going to be interesting.

I also bought a whole bunch of paper, with the hope of finding a good combo for the invites. I'm going to get a better look at them in daylight, then post a few possibilities. Note to my long-distance b-maids: I'm going to need your help! Also, do you have any ideas for how to let Mr. UB think his input here is valued? Because that whole "hands-off" thing was just talk, and his taste ... well, let's just say that he's terribly excited by the Helmet Groom's Cake idea.