can we all calm down about Colbert ... please?!

To everyone out there in 24 Hour Media Land who has their panties in a twist about Stephen Colbert testifying before Congress ... ahem:

"Elmo is the only non-human or puppet ever to testify before the U.S. Congress. At the request and with the assistance of Rep. Duke Cunningham, he testified before the House Appropriations Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services and Education in April 2002, urging support for increased funding in music education." source

I'm all for better funding for music education. (Full disclosure: I was a marching band geek. And the school one town over from us, which actually funded its music program, routinely kicked our asses.) Music education is a good thing. Even when it's proposed by a douchebag who's currently serving time in an Arizona jail for major financial malfeasance.

As a general rule, hypocrisy makes my blood boil. And while Colbert may have remained in character during his testimony, at least he's human. And capable of speaking without having some guy's hand rammed up his butt. At least, as far as we know.

Your move, Pundit Nation.

getting it wrong on purpose

Seen at the Las Vegas airport baggage claim:


If you barely glance the ad (like I did), you could think for just a moment (like I did) that Andrew Dice Clay had joined the Blue Man Group. And I kind of want to live in a world where that would happen.

Imagine the Blue Man show with a 4th guy, still painted blue, but also wearing a leather jacket & chain smoking. He has zero percussive abilities, and keeps breaking the "no talking" rule to lob F-bombs. Especially when random Blue Man machinery whizzes past his head -- he can't dance, either, and doesn't know the show's choreography -- he slept through all the rehearsals because he was still drunk from the night before.

It could happen ... I mean, seriously, how many other offers do you think the Dice Man is getting these days? Also, why do I feel like I just described many of this week's performances on Dancing With The Stars?

another reason to hate Target, plus some random silliness

Please don't hate me -- I ordered it before I read about Target's political fuckwittery. (And yes, it's taken me this long to open it. Your point is ...?) So now that that's settled: check out this noise:


Gee, guys ... way to use efficient, earth-friendly packaging. Douche nozzles.

(Just to settle wtf that thing is: it's a shoe rack. Current Score: Last 2 moving boxes in the bedroom: 0, Me: 1.)

And from the Dept. of Proof That Everything is Political, I bring you a literal transcription of texting 'twixt me & the Mr. yesterday:

Me: I went to the free neighborhood poo pile*, and they were out of poo!

Him: I hear the Tea Party rallies are full of shit. Try there.

I heart him.

* the City of L.A. provides free mulch. Or at least, it did. It looks like the Budget Crisis has gotten so bad, they literally can't give us shit anymore. Thanks, Mayor Asshat.