Lucy's first (best) trick

the Lucy channel

I was admonished recently by a friend (hi, T!!) for not getting doggie pictures up here yet. I know ... I know. But I've just been kinda hanging out with her, you know? Nonetheless, T's right: it's time to share our puppy's cuteness with the world. I'll be posting several times (soonish?) in reverse chronological order, as is the usual here in BlogLand.

First, the early days*:
*Seriously, this creature gets visibly larger by the day. The Mr. & I keep looking at her paws & laughing about how we are so fucked.

This is the first time she hung out with me while I got ready for an audition. She's really good about chilling in the bathroom ... as long as she has access to a potty pad, and I let her lick water off my hand from the shower.

Also: could you effing die?!?! Those polka dots. And those ears. And that face. **
** Stylish red collar that compliments her coloring beautifully selected by The Mr. -- credit where it's due.


Well, hello there! This seems like a good time to formally explain what I've already given away: her name is Lucy. Technically, she's Dame Lucille HisLastName. (She totally needed the honorific -- the doggie across the street is a "Dr.") She's named after one of my grandmothers, which is cool because my kitty (kisses in heaven, Lady B) was named after one of my great grandmas, and I like making a tradition out of it. Also, she just looks like a Lucy, doesn't she?

She was barely 3 months old when we found her at the city shelter near us*** -- can you believe anybody could let that face get away?! And we've been having lots (read: "lots") of fun with potty training. We're down to about 1 accident a day, which is actually a massive accomplishment. And she's pretty solid with "sit!" & "stay!" ... next step: "off!"

More to follow ... above ... silly formatting.

*** This shelter is really well-run, and there are all kinds of sweet animals there that need loving homes. Dogs, cats, bunnies -- they have everything. And the people who work there are nice. If you're local & considering a pet, please rescue.

attention all wives: HIDE!!!

This is just too awesome not to repost. Consider it a Public Service Announcement.



Found here.

we were SO ahead of this trend

Remember this tender moment from our reception?

The one (and subsequently only) time our guests tried the "dance, monkeys!" tactic of tapping their glasses to make us kiss, we let them know we weren't playing that way.

And then last night, on the "Kiss Cam" at game 1 of the NBA finals, this happened:

via TMZ

Yes, the bigger, uglier cousin of glass-tapping-for-smooches zeroed in on Dustin Hoffman, who rather than turning to his wife (seated to his left in the top photo) planted one on Jason Bateman.

Not only is this the funniest thing I saw today, and a very welcome improvement to the usual "Look, Celebrities!" atmosphere at Lakers Games (because who else can afford the effing tickets?!) ... but with all the homophobic crap out there in the world (Rekers, Foley, Haggard, Craig, Allen, Murphy Jr., Massa, Prop 8 -- shall I go on?) it just makes me smile on a whole 'nother level.

four cool things

1) It's kind of awe-inspiring, all piled up in one place:
And in the morning it will go buh-bye.

2) These are hooked up now:
For the first time in a decade, I don't need quarters to get clean underwear.

3) My friend J. is moving this weekend ... and she's taking ALL of our moving boxes.

4) Today is Z-minus-1 day & counting!!!

repurposing v1.0

Behold, the 1st in a possibly-many-parted series:

Some of it, we're selling on Craigslist/Bravo Bride/ etc. And the rest of it, well ...

A) at the wedding:


B) after the wedding:


Just doing my part to keep the planet green.

ch-ch-ch-ch- changes!

Finally! a few images of what's been up with Isabelle. (Yes, that's the house's name.)

First:
In the Living Room: out with the vomit-tan, in with the greige (dammit! I miss Domino) and blue ceiling detail. Drapery to replace awful vertical blinds = a work in progress.

In the kitchen, we've secretly replaced the "oak" cabinets with these:
Let's see if she notices! But seriously ... the Mr. just finished stripping the icky varnish off the doors, so the next steps are: sand, paint, & re-attach those.

And in the hallway, just a few adjusted hinges away from completion:
Our built-ins! Here's the doors that are awaiting their pretty satin nickel hinges:
Aren't they pretty, with their non-paint-encrusted hardware? I know!!

Oh, and referring back to this entry's title ... and just because her name rhymes with Bowie:
It's Zöe**!! Wearing the shirt we got her for her birthday. (She's the most fashion-y fashionista I currently know. Girl changed her outfit 4 times that night!)

{** NOT OUR DOG!! That's my friend Bayleigh's dog. Stop congratulating us -- we just bought her a damn t-shirt!!!}

More pics on the way -- the contractor is coming!1!!

stuff that makes me happy

I tried to embed the videos, but for some reason there was no code to make that happen. So follow the links -- they're worth it.

1) Cats are awesome.

2) Did I mention that cats are awesome?

3) We're not officially in escrow yet, but we seem to have made it past the Evil Gatekeeper of the House That Might Become Ours. News update to follow, as soon as there's anything to report ....

WORD, Grover.

It seems that Muppets are in the air. Not only did my friend The Nerdist post a beyond-fab retro scene here ... but I found this lovely bit on the inimitable Meg's site. And I choose to re-post it here. Because after 3-ish months, this is just about the best darned summation of things all married that I can find.*

*And also because I showed my darling husband where the Jim Henson Studios are located here in town, complete with Kermit Statue at the gates, even though he'd driven by countless times without noticing before I intervened ...! (No, I dont' know how he didn't see that, either.)


Seriously people -- Iowa is now officially more progressive than my dear, sweet, native California. What gives?!?

the Actress Diaries, ch. 7 & 8

Chapter 7: The Pole Whisperer

(No, that's not what the show is really called. But since I'm playing another stripper ... and yes, that's 4 this year. I seem to have found my niche. Mom's gonna be so proud.)

Time I was due on set: 9am.
Time I got into hair/ make-up/ wardrobe: immediately.
Time my first scene started shooting: 5pm.
Next time anybody you know says they want to be an actor ... ask them why. Please. Then tell me. (I'll be the one playing with her iPhone for 8 hours in a trailer.)

I just found out my episode airs Friday, November 6th at 8pm PST. Set your DVR, and don't blink or you'll miss me.


Chapter 8: San Francisco

The play I'm currently in went on the road last weekend, to San Francisco. And it was just ... one of those trips. I gave our newest cast member a mafia nickname ("Charlie Underpants"). Our resident pothead provided constant amusement as he attempted to score weed off everyone from an abuela at a bus stop in the 'burbs, to "his crackhead" in the city. We went sightseeing at midnight on Sunday. And the show went well, too.

Actually, Saturday's show was the best performance I've ever been a part of -- every joke hit, and we could literally do no wrong. I had a ton of family come -- though I'm glad I didn't know my dad was in the front row until after the show, especially during the scene where Fidel Castro snorts coke off my boobs. It may have helped that the crowd was drinking heavily (Sunday they were much quieter), but whatever. It was truly awesome.

I'm still getting used to Traveling While Married. But telling a guy "Look, I'm married, so you've got no shot, but if you want to stand here & keep buying me drinks & acting like you're getting somewhere, I will flirt with you 'til last call" actually worked: it limited the creepy & netted a few cocktails.

Also, I learned that unorthodox professions can confuse service industry professionals. To wit: the waiter who asked "What are you in town for?" and was told "We're a traveling band of Jack Nicholson impersonators," is probably still not sure if we meant it. When he asked me, "Really?" I told him, "No, I play a representative sample of all the women he's slept with." That didn't seem to help very much. Oh well.

Last show in L.A. is tonight -- woo hoo!

playing hooky

I'm supposed to be doing "real" posts about our wedding, but I'm distracted. A) We're trying to find a house, and it's just not sane out there, kids. At least, not in our price range. And B) I've been busy with Ahk-ting. For money, even. But I'll get to that eventually. For now, I just want to post silly photos that make me giggle.

Yes, babe, that's a much better use of the reception decor. Excellent work.

To be honest, I have no idea what's happening here ... there are so many options. But I love that Marija captured it. This may be my Christmas card this year. "Happy Holidays, and Don't Even Jest About Taking My Slice of Cake!"

My friends are awesome. Notice the lack of boys -- they were all hiding on the deck outside. Wussies.

Yes, we'll probably photoshop the panties out when we make prints for the parentals. Probably.

utter nonsense

And yet, it makes me giggle.

via here.
(Amsterdam is so pretty.)

Besides, it's better than navel-gazing, self-indulgent whinging ... isn't it?

2122 ...

That's how many pictures I'm working my way through. Slowly, sure ... but c'mon. This is more of a career than a job. And it doesn't help that our photog did such an amazing job that I love every 3rd shot.

Here's one of my favorites so far -- I'd been dancing for hours, surrounded by my favorite people. I had no idea my hair had fallen down, nor did/do I care.


Another reason for a picture of my back: my agent got me an audition to be the new spokes-chick for Botox. Yes, really. So don't anybody hold their breath for more photos ... 'cause I'm going back to bed.

when I need to remind myself ...

... that having my picture taken when I'm not wearing make-up is not cause for alarm, I'm going to look at this photo. I'm pretty sure I cried every bit of it off during the ceremony. And yet ...

(Seriously -- what is up with that pose in the entry below this?!?)

wedding recap: random reflections

There's something funny about having a wedding in a public place -- in our case, a city park that's also a tourist attraction. But the size of our wedding (30-ish people in a site that can hold up to 250) didn't exactly call for ushers, and without amplified music I somehow thought we'd be ... unobtrusive?

On such a gorgeous Saturday, the POFA is filled with people taking photos -- I saw a quinceñera and one other wedding party -- not to mention locals soaking up the nice weather. I figured that the folks setting up (the groomsmen & My Dad) might have to flash our permit to shoo people away from the area we'd reserved, but didn't think much more about it.

What I didn't expect was that when we turned to walk down the aisle together, a crowd had gathered & was watching us. As in, they hadn't just glanced our way & kept going -- they'd stopped & listened. We must've had at least 70 extra people who clapped & cheered for us during our recessional. Amazing.

Also: apparently it's good luck to get your picture taken with the bride & groom.

we did it!!

What a week ... sorry about the lack of posting, but I barely had time to breathe. Nonetheless: we're married!!

Lots of play-by-play, cost breakdowns & pictures to come.

the Actress Diaries, ch. 6

A brief update: my episode of "Saving Grace" airs this coming Tuesday, August 11th, at 10pm on TNT. (I say "my" lightly. It hardly centers around me.) And just today I got called to play another (ABC) Family-friendly stripper on "Greek" that same day. I appear to have cornered the market on television strippers who don't actually take their clothes off. Finally -- I've been type-cast!

Also, I rescheduled an audition tomorrow so that the Mr. & I can take advantage of his dentist's offer of free pre-wedding teeth whitening. Apparently I've finally gone Hollywood. I feel a little dirty. (In my defense, "free" is my favorite price.)

all the news that's *safe* 2.0

Chapter 2: Monday -- my Bachelorette Party

I picked up my MOH, Our Lady of the Holiday, from the airport & we grabbed a late breakfast, then bought a few supplies for the planned festivities. While we were in line waiting to purchase them, we noticed the lady behind us staring at the contents of our basket: 2 bottles of champagne, 6 trashy tabloids and 1 clinical-strength deodorant. So we looked at her basket: tofu, cucumbers, lettuce. She sighed & said, "Your basket looks like way more fun." That's just how we roll.

Next stop: the Mondrian Hotel in Hollywood, where Holiday had booked us waaay-too-nice of a suite. She kicked me to the spa where I got a super-yummy body scrub & massage (purrr), and by the time I made it out to the pool my friends P. and M. had joined us. (Life in L.A. would be so much more tolerable if I could spend all my afternoons chilling by that pool ... I should look into that.) We took lots of photos, giggled at the trashy mags, and got reprimanded by a pool boy for sneaking in an "outside" bottle of champagne. (Bat eyes & hand him empty bottle. "Sorry!") We also wondered why you would wear a flourescent green sweatshirt and then act like you didn't want to be recognized, Spike Lee? The best quote of the afternoon, by far, came from H. herself: "Unfortunately, he also spoke English."

We stayed until they closed the pool, then went upstairs to get cleaned up. P. couldn't stay for dinner, but she did tell us we HAD to order the butterfish. The rest of us agreed that "butter fish" sounded like slang for a person with a really slammin' body, who'd had something "unfortunate" happen to her ... anatomy. Trust me -- after the 2nd bottle of champagne, this was high-larious.

My friend K. was off work in time to join us for dinner, where we did order the butterfish, decided it was delicious, and still laughed like 6 yr.-olds about its name.

After dinner, M. had to leave us (she had an early start the next day) but we were joined by J. and a 2nd K. at a bar in Hollywood. We went there because a) it was close to the hotel, b) it's pretty cheap, and c) you can order cocktails in both a beach pail and a fish bowl. I'm sorry to report that there were no fish in the fish bowl ... at least, I really hope there weren't. But there was free popcorn, which I kept getting up to refill just to make people stare at The Boots as I walked by. We stayed until the lights came on, then went back and passed out in the hotel's much-too-comfy bed.

On the way to drop Holiday back at the airport, we sealed the experience with breakfast at Sprinkles cupcakes.

Thanks to each & every person who was able to join us & celebrate with me. It meant the world to me. I couldn't have imagined a more perfect day.

(And to everyone who couldn't make it because we did this on a weekday: stay tuned ...)

all the news that's *safe* to print

This past weekend saw lots of silliness on behalf of both Mr. UB & myself. I'm going to leave out a few details because we're not anonymous here, (hi, family members we told about this blog!) but what follows is most of what happened.

Chapter 1: Sunday -- his Bachelor Party.

credit

Mr. UB was kept in the dark about any specific plans. All he knew was when he'd be picked up (11:00 a.m. Sunday), what to pack (swim trunks, something nice for going out, and a change of clothes) and when he'd be home (5:00 p.m. Monday).

I got a text from him around 9:30 p.m.

Him: You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me.

Me: Glad to hear it. Now back to your debauchery.

My first thought was that texting me mid-bachelor party was kind of a weenie move. My second thought was that he's my very thoughtful weenie, and that I appreciated the reassurance.

That's all I heard until the next day, when I got another text.

Him: I'm home. Remind me to tell you what happened to R's boots.

Apparently he was taken to San Diego for a planned afternoon by the pool & night on the town. Except that in a major fail, best man Double-L didn't keep an eye on the Mr's water intake. So after a little too much sun, he wandered upstairs & fell asleep. He woke up momentarily to text me, then passed out again until morning. The rest of the guys enjoyed a very nice steak dinner, but they were all in bed by 10 p.m.

Him: I think I slept through my bachelor party.

Yep -- that's my weenie. In his defense, they're going to try again next weekend when they go to Vegas for R's birthday, since I have to stay home for work.

Oh, and he says I'm not allowed to tell you what happened to those boots.

my sphere of influence expands!

I've been chosen to join the Weddzilla team as a guest blogger! I'm going to be reporting on the roller coaster ride that is the final countdown to our big shindig -- 17 days and counting! There will also be recaps & a post-mortem of how all this planning/scrambling/making it up as we went along turned out.

A big shout-out and lots of love to the Weddzilla team for finding my rantings amusing enough to share with their readers.

My plans for world domination are right on schedule. Mwah ha ha ha hah!!!