Lucy's first (best) trick

aaaaand we're back!!!

Phew! I was seriously turning a shade somewhere between cerulean & indigo there, waiting for our FUCKING INTERWEBS TO GET WORKING. Ahem. I'm sorry. I don't mean to swear. (Really. I try not to. I just suck at not-swearing.)

In case anyone has been wondering about the brevity/simplicity of my recent (aka post-move) posts, allow me to elucidate: We had DSL service at the apartment, with a small-ish provider whose service/pricing/support we adored. So naturally we tried to just shift our account with them to the new Owned By Us address. We had to wait 5 (five!!) days, because AT&T makes you suffer if you don't use their 'net service, for the phone to get "turned on". I guess the guy who had to flip a switch was busy that week. Anyway, once the 5-day time frame had elapsed: still no 'net. So we called, and were asked to wait ANOTHER 2 (two!!) days for a technician to come out & investigate.

Which he did. I was here. And a Very Large Dude, who was surprisingly friendly AND helpful, played with some wires outside the house (even though it was raining). And he diagnosed us as 3000 ft. too far from the DSL hub to get service. (Insert Lumbergh voice here:) "Greeaaaaat."

So: back to square 1. Call cable company. They'll come out in 3 (three!!) business days. Except that the 3rd day was Effing President's Day. (Stoopid Presidents.) So we just. finally. got. service. today.

(By the by, my interim posts were made via a nifty iPhone app called BlogWriter. I was very pleased with the results. Get the free version, unless you have the urge to post photos -- then it's a worthwhile $1.99. But you can't delete posts ... hence the bewildering stuff that I just got rid of, from my "learning curve" phase.)

At any rate: Howdy! I'm still here! And we still have no bathroom to speak of. (Epic Construction Timing Fail.) But here's what we do have:
An uber-fancy new light/fan, with switches that independently control both functions! And paint! And some bead board (slightly visible)!

A couple of fixtures! Including a rain bath shower head, and that awesome outlet-find light for over the (eventually) medicine cabinet.

And various kinds of flooring! That's the river rock stuff in the shower floor, and those (totally my fault, expensive-ish) penny tiles on the rest of the floor. Also, a better look at the bead board.

Now all we need is for the Effing Grout to dry, so we can re-connect the toilet. That's all I care to say about that ... except that NO, I'm NOT enjoying this part.

playing hooky

I'm supposed to be doing "real" posts about our wedding, but I'm distracted. A) We're trying to find a house, and it's just not sane out there, kids. At least, not in our price range. And B) I've been busy with Ahk-ting. For money, even. But I'll get to that eventually. For now, I just want to post silly photos that make me giggle.

Yes, babe, that's a much better use of the reception decor. Excellent work.

To be honest, I have no idea what's happening here ... there are so many options. But I love that Marija captured it. This may be my Christmas card this year. "Happy Holidays, and Don't Even Jest About Taking My Slice of Cake!"

My friends are awesome. Notice the lack of boys -- they were all hiding on the deck outside. Wussies.

Yes, we'll probably photoshop the panties out when we make prints for the parentals. Probably.

"oh waiter ... a side order of crow, please"

Well, it figures. As soon as a girl goes & makes a stand about something, it bites her in the butt. In this case, my dear fiance is the one biting me in the ... wait, that doesn't sound right. Dammit. Allow me to explain:

In one of those role-reversals that never cease to amuse, Mr. UB is now on a strict diet until the wedding. I had nothing to do with it, I swear. Not only do I stand by everything I said in my rant on the subject as applicable to both genders ... but he gets to wear a suit at the wedding. Or a tux -- we haven't gotten to the details of that part yet. But either way: a freakin' suit. There is not a single garment in the female fashion world that is as instantly elegant, sexy and forgiving as a suit is for a guy. Seriously, it's not fair.

Nevertheless, he's decided that he feels a little doughy in places, and he's on a diet & workout regimen that smells vaguely of bootcamp, in my opinion. I don't mind -- in fact, one of my favorite things about him is that when something bothers him, he takes action to change it. But if he thinks that I won't be holding him to my "as long as you intend to keep those new habits after the big party" rule, well ... ahem.

Meanwhile, I'm sticking to my current regimen of donuts & milkshakes. Yes, I work out for a living. No, it's not fair. But a) my dress fits, and b) did I mention he gets to wear a suit?!?

i'll take Random for 500

Does anyone else always try to pronounce the weird-ass wavy "words" that pop up when you post a comment, to make sure you're not a) a robot, b) impersonating a robot, or c) short on patience? Because I do, and some of them are freaking me out.

Also, in the last 24 hours, two of my supposed non-words have been "trout" and "sperm."

I'm actively trying not to see a connnection.

i need this

I'm in love (again) ... with this:

Could you freakin' die? Made by {domestic construction}, for sale in their Etsy shop. For something I didn't know existed until 2-ish months ago, I'm not sure how I lived this long without Etsy. Just sayin'.

Also, I had this strange moment today, on the set of an acting gig:

Random Crew Guy: What's your stage name?

Me: I don't have one.

RCG: Oh?!?

Me: I'm not a stripper.

RCG: Huh.

More on this later, but I was fairly amused. A) I chose to be flattered, & B) I think that means I did good.

"hooray" for more d.i.y.

I'd considered not bothering with programs, as I'm not convinced that they're totally necessary. Does anyone ever really a) become unable to follow the ceremony without the Cliff's Notes, b) commit to memory the names & relationships of the wedding party, or c) keep them? Besides, I just don't think most of them are very interesting. But then I found a template that's also useful, and now we're talking.

Care of the uber-talented Aylee, check this out:

Of course, after I played with the template for a little while, I was feeling seriously out of my league. Fortunately, Mr. UB greatly prefers this simpler (!) paddle fan program.



Seeing as how our venue is outside, and October is usually Indian Summer in San Francisco, I can see myself putting the time & cost of supplies into fans for our guests. There's no way to know how much of the Rotunda will be in shade during our ceremony, and I certainly don't want my aunts to pass out from the heat. (Especially if that would result in their no longer inviting me to Thanksgiving -- those ladies can cook!) And hey -- if it rains, they can hold them over their heads to keep the water off. Brilliant!*
*must be said in Evil Genius voice, a la "breeeel-yent!" for proper effect. And if you have a long mustachio, by all means twirl it between your fingers as you say it.

In other news -- I know I haven't been posting much for the past week. I've been ... well, distracted. And I'm still not sure if it's something I want to discuss here. But I'm back now, I think. Also, I lost my first follower -- someone I didn't know has stopped following my ramblings. The internet is weird.

it's definitely not nothing ... *

In what can only be interpreted as a reasonable (re)action, Mr. UB has started a blog. He says it's intended as a "companion piece" to my ramblings here. I'm pretty sure that means he's going to offer his point of view on all things Wedding, and correct my interpretation of his thoughts/motives/etc. I suspect there will also be a healthy dose of mocking me right back. (Cue "Dueling Banjos," please.)

Pop quiz: this makes us a) adorable, b) well-matched, c) deserving of each other, or d) comfortable with announcing to the world that we both have way too much free time. Feel free to check his blog here before you decide.

* title reference explained here.

what we have here is a failure to communicate

Things I just don't get:

1) When I cruise sites like Craigslist, Bravo Bride, etc. and people list shoes for sale ... and nowhere in the listing do they mention the size of the shoes! Also, listings that say things like "I paid $25, will sell for $20 + $15 shipping." Um, yeah. What a deal.

2) Last night Mr. UB & I were sitting in my living room, talking. The Cat was hovering nearby, as she is wont to do. (She occassionally wants to be near--ish ... close enough to keep an eye on us, but not so close that we think she enjoys our company.) Mr. UB convinced himself that because she wouldn't look at him when he waved his arms and said her name, she must therefore be blind. I'm going to have to explain to him how this "cat" thing works.