treading water

General status update:

*Closed the show. Don't know if we'll be back -- it's an amazing project, but theater is extra-hard right now. Stoopid economy, wrecking all our fun.

*Been sick all week. This always happens after I close a show. Despite valiant efforts to the contrary, apparently one cannot expend that much energy indefinitely. At least, not without consequences. Sneeze.

*Fired our first realtor. He's a nice guy, and a friend-of-a-friend. But he's also effing flakey, and we can't afford to only make it out 1 of every 3 times we have an appointment to see places. I'm afraid I'm gonna kill somebody (possibly somebody I like) without at least the appearance of progress.

*Had one friend give up & move home, and news that another friend's band is breaking up. Tough week to stay inspired.

* This helped:
I saw 3 deer on Monday. In Pasadena. Only one of them stood still long enough for me to get a picture, but there were 3 of them. Right there in the middle of the big bad city. I gotta figure -- if freaking Bambi can hack it here ...

the Actress Diaries, ch. 7 & 8

Chapter 7: The Pole Whisperer

(No, that's not what the show is really called. But since I'm playing another stripper ... and yes, that's 4 this year. I seem to have found my niche. Mom's gonna be so proud.)

Time I was due on set: 9am.
Time I got into hair/ make-up/ wardrobe: immediately.
Time my first scene started shooting: 5pm.
Next time anybody you know says they want to be an actor ... ask them why. Please. Then tell me. (I'll be the one playing with her iPhone for 8 hours in a trailer.)

I just found out my episode airs Friday, November 6th at 8pm PST. Set your DVR, and don't blink or you'll miss me.


Chapter 8: San Francisco

The play I'm currently in went on the road last weekend, to San Francisco. And it was just ... one of those trips. I gave our newest cast member a mafia nickname ("Charlie Underpants"). Our resident pothead provided constant amusement as he attempted to score weed off everyone from an abuela at a bus stop in the 'burbs, to "his crackhead" in the city. We went sightseeing at midnight on Sunday. And the show went well, too.

Actually, Saturday's show was the best performance I've ever been a part of -- every joke hit, and we could literally do no wrong. I had a ton of family come -- though I'm glad I didn't know my dad was in the front row until after the show, especially during the scene where Fidel Castro snorts coke off my boobs. It may have helped that the crowd was drinking heavily (Sunday they were much quieter), but whatever. It was truly awesome.

I'm still getting used to Traveling While Married. But telling a guy "Look, I'm married, so you've got no shot, but if you want to stand here & keep buying me drinks & acting like you're getting somewhere, I will flirt with you 'til last call" actually worked: it limited the creepy & netted a few cocktails.

Also, I learned that unorthodox professions can confuse service industry professionals. To wit: the waiter who asked "What are you in town for?" and was told "We're a traveling band of Jack Nicholson impersonators," is probably still not sure if we meant it. When he asked me, "Really?" I told him, "No, I play a representative sample of all the women he's slept with." That didn't seem to help very much. Oh well.

Last show in L.A. is tonight -- woo hoo!

we're baaaa-aaaack!!

The "Jack" show is coming back -- woo hoo!! As much as I was thrilled & proud to be a part of its 1st incarnation, I am twice as excited to herald our return: Jack 2.0!! All About Jack: The Impersonators of Jack Nicholson is BACK for a second run at Theatre 68 in Los Angeles ... AND a Two-Night Stand in San Francisco!!

Have you ever wondered what makes Jack Nicholson tick? Where he came from? What his famous movie roles would've looked like, translated through the minds & bodies of 8 Jack impersonators? Then THIS is the show for you!! Come with us on a wild ride through his "discovery" & early days in Hollywood, his iconic performances & renowned eccentricities. Eight Jacks & one vivacious vixen take you on a tour of the life-and-times that you will never forget!!

Tickets for L.A. here:
PLAYS411.COM

Tickets for S.F. here:
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/80545

(Okay ... sorry for the shameless pandering, but I'm incredibly proud of this show. Come & see us -- you won't regret it.)

the Actress Diaries, ch. 6

A brief update: my episode of "Saving Grace" airs this coming Tuesday, August 11th, at 10pm on TNT. (I say "my" lightly. It hardly centers around me.) And just today I got called to play another (ABC) Family-friendly stripper on "Greek" that same day. I appear to have cornered the market on television strippers who don't actually take their clothes off. Finally -- I've been type-cast!

Also, I rescheduled an audition tomorrow so that the Mr. & I can take advantage of his dentist's offer of free pre-wedding teeth whitening. Apparently I've finally gone Hollywood. I feel a little dirty. (In my defense, "free" is my favorite price.)

pimping my new show

I normally think of this stuff as Shameless Self-Promotion, but what else is a blog, really?
ALL ABOUT JACK opens tonight. The life & times of Jack Nicholson, in all its hilarity and mayhem. No, I don't do a Jack impression (which is a good thing, believe me) but I do play Faye Dunaway, Cher, Kim Basinger, Shelley Duvall, Jane Fonda, one of the girls from "Five Easy Pieces" and two random bimbos.

If you're in L.A., or know people who are, come check us out. You'll laugh, I promise. Or you can just come to see if I actually make all 8 costume changes in time (it's a 75 minute show) -- I won't question your motives.

Now I have to go organize my costumes, and try not to barf.

ALL ABOUT JACK
Thursdays at 8pm
June 18th - July 23rd
Theatre 68 @ 5419 Sunset Blvd.
tickets at plays411.com
info line 888.227.2285