cost breakdown: candy buffet

One of the biggest "non-practical" elements of our wedding was our candy buffet. (It's also one of the only things featured in wedding magazines that I fell in love with. What can I say? I'm not completely impervious to pretty pictures.) I'm sure that we could have come up with a less expensive cost-per-guest party favor, but I figured that people had earned their sugar comas after all the dancing at our reception!

We had 9 different containers in our buffet: 3 apothecary jars & 2 decorative plates, all snagged at Ross. (I started looking very early in our planning process, in order to take advantage of post-Christmas sales. I basically grabbed anything white or metallic I could get my hands on.) I got creative when I found 2 big mercury class candle holders at Target (I just covered the pointy thing in the bottom with tissue paper), and I made a cake stand from a tutorial on OnceWed.com. At the last minute, I found a giant clear-glass vase that I already owned -- score!

Total: $69.18



For the candy, I realized pretty quickly that while lots of websites out there offer "discount bulk candy", the overnight shipping required to get it to Southern California in the summer, hopefully without melting, was a potential budget-buster. I got as much of it as I could at a local warehouse in downtown L.A.

10 lbs. each grapefruit sour gummies, butterscotch & Hershey's kisses = $68.88.

I got the rest from 2 online resources, and went for the 2-day shipping in protective packaging (still cheaper than overnighting it) just before temps soared for the summer.

10 lbs. each 7-up jelly bellies & white jordan almonds from bulkfoods.com = $99.56 + approx. $60 shipping.
10 lbs. "milkies" (like M&M's, but without the "M" so cheaper) & 5 lbs. champagne bubbles from Groovy Candies = $115.85 + approx. $40 shipping.

I also got 5 lbs. of white mints from Smart & Final for about $10. And somehow I got it into my head that I'd have a) the time, and b) the skill to make a thing or two. Yeah, I know ... overly ambitious = me. Fortunately, after my test run turned out poorly, I found these at Target:

White Oreos! Who knew?! (I didn't.) About $10 for 3 bags.

I made the signs for each container with leftover cardstock from our invitations -- printed at Kinko's -- and attached it with ribbon I found on sale. Instead of buying pricey labels from some online site, I printed some using Word on my home computer:

They seemed to get what I wanted to say across ... and I already had those labels, so they were free.

We decorated the table with the leftover bubble liquid bottles from our ceremony, and some matchbook notebooks that I made. I used the cardstock samples I'd bought when looking for our invitation paper, plus stamps that were in the set used on our invitations & plain computer paper. The upside to doing things yourself = re-purposing your leftovers!


I found the big scoops at a local party supply store (about $10) & decorated them with the same ribbon as on the container signs, and got the bags through a wholesale company. (I ended up with twice the amount I needed, so after selling the extras on Craigslist, they cost a net $13.)

Altogether, the candy buffet cost us about $545. Admittedly, it was kind of an extravagance, and I might have changed my mind if I'd known about the extra $100 in shipping charges from the beginning ... but it turned out beautifully, our guests loved it, and I was really proud of myself for pulling it off. So if anyone out there is planning something similar, I hope you find this useful!

To change, or not to change (my name)?

The Mr. & I got our marriage license two weeks ago, and while we were filling out the paperwork I was confronted with spaces for me to put "Current Name" and "Married Name". While I'd always thought I knew what I wanted here, I was suddenly gripped by a flood of "You mean I have to decide this now?!" Nothing like a little legally-binding document to make me question myself.

I admit that I probably have a more complicated relationship with this subject than most. First, my point against: I'm not changing it for professional purposes. I've worked for years to carve out the beginning of a niche in my industry -- no way am I going back to "who?"

Second, my points for: I hated my last name when I was a kid. It can be rhymed with far too many embarrassing things, and even occassionally employed as a verb. I was aching to be rid of it since age 6. (Yes this is probably the silliest of my reasons. But at the time it seemed terribly important.)

More significantly: I am the product of a divorce. Growing up, I was the only person in my house with my last name, and I can't imagine why I'd continue that voluntarily.

My fiance's family thinks I'm adorably retro on the subject -- both his mom & sister kept their maiden names. But the phrase "maiden name" has always stuck uncomfortably in my throat. Am I waiting for Robin Hood to come rescue me from a dragon? Talk about retro.

All of these thoughts swirled around my brain in roughly 3.5 seconds as I paused while filling out that government form. And then it hit me: I could have it both ways. I added my family name to the "Middle Name" box, and put his as the "Last Name." So I have two middle names now (or I will in 12 days).

The truth is, for all my over-thinking the subject, I've grown rather attached to my name. It's followed me around the world, and it reminds me of so many people I love who aren't here any more.

Besides, if it's good enough for Charlotte York MacDougal Goldenblatt ....

a better perspective

I need to hang out with my friend Tolley more often. I auditioned for a project she's casting today, and while we were chatting afterwards I told her that my non-planning snit was still running strong. (She knows ... she reads this.)

Her: Couldn't spending time with someone who's doing a reading at your wedding technically be considered "doing wedding stuff"?

Me: I should think so.

Her: Mani/pedi?

Me: I love you.

And that's how I found myself in a tiny shop on Robertson, being massaged simultaneously by 3 surprisingly strong Asian women. (Hands, feet, shoulders.) I kind of want to live there.

I skipped nail polish, because one of the things I know about myself is that I will ruin it before I get to my car. Tolley suggested that I get them buffed (am I really writing about this? No wonder my friends are teasing me ...) and I have to say, they look quite nice. I should do this a couple more times before my hands are featured prominently in photographs.

As an old model (you know, over 23) I have a wealth of model tricks to make things look better in pictures. (No one puts Preparation H under their eyes -- that one's an urban myth.) But my hands ... they've always been a lost cause. To wit: I remember being asked by my first Italian modeling agent, Alfonso, to show him my hands and see if I could be sent on specialty jobs. (Go ahead, say "hand jobs." I'll wait.) The girl in line in front of me had the most elegant hands, with smooth skin & long, narrow fingers. (Think you obsess about your body?) "Like a classical piano player," he said approvingly. And then he looked at my hands.

"You ... you have hands like you've been working in the field." This from the more-than-a-little-portly, hairy man who once pinched my stomach & told me to lose one kilo. (That's 2.2 lbs. for those of you playing the home game.) But I digress ... my point is, my hands are strong, and generally useful, but not exceptionally pretty. And when I'm at S Factor, we use spray bottles of rubbing alcohol to keep the poles non-slippery. Try grinding that toxic stuff into your cuticles 4 days a week, and tell me how your hands look.

But after today, I'm willing to consider moving them out of the "lost cause" column.

Also, in addition to my episode of "House" airing tonight (woo hoo!!), I booked the play I went out for a few days ago. Apparently, I'm going to be playing most if not all of the female roles, which is awesome on two counts. First, because that's going to be a lot of fun, and second, because I won't have to do my wretched Nicholson impression in public.

the seagulls are taking over

Think I'm kidding? Check out this cheeky bastard:
What the hell? It's not a monument to you, jerk. But that's okay ... go ahead & perch up there. Make a spectacle of yourself.

And look who was waiting for me, over by the lake:
He's just staring at me, with his weirdo "I can only look directly at you by turning my head" bird vision. Is he sizing me up? Challenging me? Waiting for me to turn my back so he can go all Hitchcock on my ass?

Their influence is so pervasive, it's even affecting the art in the park:
This Putnam guy supposedly finished a sculpture up to two years after he died?! Who do you think is responsible for that? Yep ... the frickin' seagulls. They're terrible with dates. Go ahead -- ask one when William of Orange invaded England. He won't know.

You've been warned.

(Actually, these are just pics that I accidentally left out of yesterday's post. But you should still watch out for seagulls. They're evil.)

a public service annoucement

I found this in a link over on F*ck you, Penguin, and thought it was worth re-posting. Because it could happen ...

What to do if you are attacked by an ostrich.

You're welcome.

ribbon palooza, etc.

I found an incredible deal on scoops & tongs for our candy buffet. $0.60 each. I went with big spoons instead of fancy candy scoops because I figure we'll actually have use for these in our kitchen. You know, in the several years of being married, after the big fancy party that lasts one day.

$1.70 each. All at Vine American Party Store.

With slightly more than $1 worth of cream ribbon (total, that is), they now look like this: Total cost: $10.30, and no shipping costs. The website for Vine American is pretty rudimentary, and you can't shop online. But if you're in L.A. and can stop by (and have time to dig) they've got some deals that beat craft stores. By a lot. (Also, no hot glue gun injury this time. I'm improving!)

Next up: supplies for our invitations arrived yesterday. (Side note: our UPS guy is really nice. I should really tell him why he's suddenly seeing me so often, and why there's slightly less room for me in my living room each time he stops by.)
They came with a very nice, unintentionally hilarious note from the person who tool our order. Hand-writted "Thank you!" and signature ... and just below it "*no returns ... no refunds" in the tiniest print. With an actual asterisk. Good thing I intend to keep it, I guess.

Here's what the paper stuff will look like when it's all put together: (The text will be printed on the cream-colored paper ... but in a burst of forethought I decided to run off my samples on plain stuff, until I got it right. And I now have the proper tool for getting the stamp aligned properly, too.) I have 2 options for tying the varying pieces together:


I think I prefer the second one, with just the raffia. Which is fine -- I've decided that I want to keep things as neutral as possible, overall (a reaction to the neckties, possibly?), and I'm sure I'll find another use for the green ribbon. Besides, it only cost $1/spool.

I did a little scrounging for something to put on the cufflink bases I bought on eBay, but came up empty. Then I remembered that Gem Faire is coming back to Santa Monica -- next week, even! Hooray for my flyer that showed up in the mail, complete with Free Entry Coupon. If you want to go, they have 2-for-1 entry coupons that you can print on their website. Or just see when it's travelling trade show goodness is coming closer to your area.

Lastly: some love for all things Google. I thought I'd have to buy some special kind of goo in order to clean the candle holders that I found on Craigslist, until I searched "candle wax removal." Turns out you can pop them in the freezer for a few hours, then basically pop the stuck, melted candle end right out. Yay, free solutions.

**Post-lastly: I just got off the phone with Mr. UB. He went out last night to meet some friends, and learned that someone who used to work at a restaurant with his roommate just started her own catering company. Without him even asking, she offered to cater our reception for cost. Excuse me -- I have to go dance around my living room now.

coining a term: #1

Sheepdog: (n) a person who, under the guise of "giving advice," tries to talk you out of what you really want. Common arguments include, but are not limited to: a) "you just don't understand how things are done," b) "I know better than you do," c) "your taste blows," &/or d) "have I ever mentioned that you're a complete imbecile?" Can sense wedding plans intuitively, and are likely to mulitply faster than just-out-of-Catholic-school rabbits in heat due to their resulting excitement. Name derives from an uncontrollable compulsion to lead you, most often in a direction in which you have NO desire to go.

D. I. ... Me(?)

As long as I'm going to try to make the invites & do the decor myself, I may as well see just exactly what I can whip up. And who knew! (you probably did, but I had no idea) about all those websites & blogs out there with cool ideas.?!

For example, I find myself oddly intrigued by this pomander made of craft paper & ribbon. (photo from article on Once Wed here) Which is surprising because when I first discovered the existence of said objet, I thought it looked ... well, stupid. But it's clearly growing on me. Now, I have no idea how much "real," aka "made of flowers" pomanders cost, but I'm betting they're not cheap. (Just a hunch, based on the recurring theme of "anything we know is for a wedding costs 30 to 300% more".) But anyway ... the rather adorable little thing pictured here costs only about $5 in craft materials, plus the sweat of my brow. (And from what I've heard, that can be had for a very reasonable rate. Even though it's for a wedding.)

There's also this project (also on Once Wed, here) for a cupcake stand that could be pretty freakin' sweet as part of the display for the candy buffet.For the record, I'm deliberately choosing projects that don't seem too ambitious -- I just hope I'm not over-estimating my abilities. Frankly, for the right look at the right price, I'll stay up as many nights as I have to, playing with cutesy-shaped hole punches and fancy paper.

In other news, my mom wants to have a telephone pow-wow with me & my sister, to discuss ... things? ... i'm not sure what, exactly. But I'm sorta guessing that she thinks I'm gonna f@ck this whole thing up. Or maybe she just knows they have expertise to impart -- I'm probably projecting my own exhaustion-imposed self-doubt onto other people. (It's not even exhaustion I can blame on wedding planning. It's just life this week. Which doesn't give me high hopes for the situation improving.)

Oh ... and I think I finally saw a cake that I a) don't hate, and b) can imagine having at a wedding for me:
(photo from The Polka Dot Bride here) No idea what to put on top (do I have to?!) but we've got time for that. Maybe I'll hole-punch something on fancy paper.