did they really think we'd behave ourselves?

We skipped lots of "traditional" stuff at our wedding. No bouquet or garter toss (I think they're lame & demeaning, respectively), no money dance (gross) unless you count having "10 Dollar" by M.I.A. in my playlist, and no "dance, monkey!"-type glass clinking allowed. We just got married, for peet's, sake ... wait 2 minutes, and you'll probably see us lip-locking of our own accord.

Of course, some people either a) couldn't control the impulse to try, or b) had developed both mild spastic conditions and an inability to stop clenching their cutlery (weird, I know) ... and there was a single glass-clinking incident. One. At which the Mr. & I turned and laid a serious smooch on the people nearest to us.


That was pretty much the only time anyone clinked a damn glass. Weird, huh? Although I did hear the other groomsmen were disappointed that the Mr. didn't try to slip Double-L the tongue.

And here we'd decided not to make any statement about our support for marriage equality, so as to avoid starting a political argument at our wedding.* Whoops!

* I did hear about the political argument that a few of our guests got into at dinner. Thank you to all involved for keeping your voices down, and thus allowing me to remain blissfully ignorant of said conversation.

I know, I know ...

I'm being lazy. I know. I'm supposed to be filing daily reports filled with pictures & ancedotes from "the big day" ... and yet, I'm not. I owe at least 3 posts to the good people at Weddzilla, who added me to their team just in time for my Blog Ennui to set in. So what gives?

Mostly, I've just been busy getting back to my regular life. The Mr. is hard at work, and I'm wrestling with the geometry problem of fitting two lives into this 1-bedroom apartment. And anyone who wants proof that this is True Love: I emptied a closet for him. I put clothes into boxes into storage. I put away my cashmere, dammit! (Sure, it's August in Los Angeles, and I'll swap those out with my tank tops for the 3 weeks in January when it gets brisk here -- but that's not the point.)

We've also been overwhelmed with the generosity of our friends. The UPS guy & I are totally bonding (I think he looks tired; he thinks we need an air conditioner -- apparently, I'm literally a hot mess) as he brings us more boxes of awesomeness, nearly every day. I'm itching to get cracking on the thank-yous, but the Mr. has An Idea for those, so it's going to take a little extra time.

Also, for everyone who asks me "when do I get to see pictures?", my stock reply is "as soon as I get to see them!" And after seeing the first few picks from our ceremony in San Francisco, our photographer is forever my hero & can take all the damn time she needs/pleases.

Here's just a little bit of what I'm talking about:

The boys after they finished primping. They clean up pretty nice.

Putting the hat/veil/thingy on for the first of many times (silly wind!) with T -- I can't thank her enough for all her help. (Not just with the hat.)

Checking my ... "dress" ... with His Sis. Double-stick tape is your friend!

More soon, I promise.

The countdown continues: T minus 5 days

Actually, it's more like 4 days by now -- only 3.5 hours remain of this one. And I can't plan on getting anything done tomorrow, since I'm filming & my time is officially not my own. Which means that All Of This needs to happen Wednesday:

*print programs, and possibly begin assembly (Some of this could conceivably happen in S.F., but I want to have at least one prototype completed, to avoid complications.) (This would've happened today, but the template is printing screwy. The Mr. is performing triage as we speak.)

*finish making morroccan-style lanterns out of soup cans (I plan to enjoy this, as it involves hitting things with a hammer.)

*find a hairstylist who's available on Saturday (Yes, this got put off until waaay too late. I have 3 numbers to call in the morning, and I'm gathering supplies to do it myself. Eff it.)

*make labels for candy buffet & ceremony (This won't happen until the programs are ready to print. I try to limit my Kinko's exposure.)

*Separate out S.F. stuff from the Wedding Fort and prepare for transporting it north. (Mad love to T. who's letting us use her punk-rock soccer mom car!)

*Find something I already own that will work for the His-Family's-Friends dinner the night before (I know which dress, but the accessories are proving to be quite vexing.)

*Have conversation with Photographer Friend about specifics (I expect this to be a breeze -- I love this woman, and I've shot with her before.)

Honestly, all that feels pretty manageable. Well, the hair thing is slightly worrisome, but I can pull it off myself in a pinch. And I'm letting myself get some nice things from Sephora since I'm doing my own make-up. Also, my friend who works for Smashbox came through huge: I asked for a few samples, and the woman brought me real live product. Have I mentioned how much my friends rock?!

So .. what's distressing me these days, you ask? (You did. I heard you.) Oh, one or two things.
**A portion of this entry has been redacted. But I maintain that there are a couple of people who owe me an apology.**

On the flip-side of that, several people are being stellar. One of the g'men (who married our officiant last year, so he gets it) even agreed last-minute to be our "stage manager" for the S.F. stuff.

And my girls ... let me tell you about my girls. I wish I had $1000 to spend on my Maid of Honor, Our Lady of the Holiday, because she couldn't be more awesome. And my friend T., who's doing a reading during the ceremony, went with me for mani/pedi today and talked me off the ledge regarding Stupid Things That Boys Say. My girl S. is coming through like a champ with the potent potables, and I've had such love from His Sis & My Sis this week that I'm in danger of going all gooey on you.

So all in all: things are good. Unless Mr. UB finally snaps out of it (I keep waiting for him to turn to me & exclaim "Whoa -- you're crazy!!") it looks like this thing going to happen. Holy I-promised-myself-I'd-reign-in-the-swearing!

all about Mr. Un-bride

I found this over on Mason Jar Bride, who credited it to another blog with a broken link (please tell me who she is in the comments & I'll give credit!) and it made me giggle.

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? In front of the TV? Halo 3 if he has friends over, Fallout if he's alone. Oh, and World of Warcraft if he's in front of his computer.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Salad? Um, he likes that citrus-y one that comes on the veggies next to Japanese food. And the celery next to hot wings -- does that count as salad?

3. What's one food he doesn't like? He's pretty opposed to eggplant. But then again he very much enjoyed the Sicilian caponata that I made last year for Valentine's Day.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? Depends where we are. If we're watching football, he'll get a beer. If we're out having drinks with friends, it's usually Rum & Coke. For his birthday last week, Fancy Pants drank champagne all night.

5. Where did he go to high school? Bishop O'Dowd. He was, proudly, the only Jew in Catholic school. Because his parents wisely decided against sending him to public school in Oakland.

6. What size shoe does he wear? Um ... I don't know this one. But I do know that all of his shoes live under his bed. With shoe trees.

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Memorabilia from the video games he's worked on -- posters, action figures, etc. I'm very happy to continue to display these in our home together, but I'll probably trade the push-pins that currently afix them to the wall for some frames.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Philly cheese steak, from the place on the corner near his apartment. And they are tres yummy.

9. What would he eat every day if he could? Well, as an adult living on his own, he pretty much does eat whatever he wants. At the moment, he's on his workout regime, so it's pretty healthy. At other times, it's involved a lot of pizza and Chinese delivery. Ah, bachelorhood.

10. What is his favorite cereal? Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds. With almond milk. The boy likes his almonds.

11. What would he never wear? Jeans bought after 1995? No, wait -- I fixed that. Metrosexual gear.

12. What is his favorite sports team? College: UCLA Bruins. Pro: Oakland Raiders. Please don't send him hate mail.

13. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Get upset occassionally? He tells me that he wants me to be happy all the time. Which I've told him is an absolutely reasonable thing to want.

14. What is his heritage? Dad's side is German Jewish. (You know, the ones who made it out.) Mom's side is kinda Anglo-waspy, from the Northeast. He has an uncle who hunts bears, and another one who's a lobster fisherman. So they're basically well-fed bad-asses.

15. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? I don't think he'd care, as long as it's cake and there's a lot of it. (Babe, if you have a preference that I don't know about, please tell me. Since this is something that could very well happen at some time in the future.)

16. Did he play sports in high school?
Swimming. He was really good at it. Got recruited to college for it, even. Unlike me -- I'm buoyant but slow.

17. What could he spend hours doing? See question #1. He's lost whole days to WOW. Not that he considers them lost.

18. What is one unique talent he has? Singing loudly & enthusiastically, without regard to pitch, tone or key. I wish I shared his lack of self-consciousness.

I wanted to do this because I think it's cute, and I love sharing how awesome he is.

Also, I think it's important to continually make a stand on Groom Importance. I'm freaked out by all of the brides out there who treat the man who's going to be their husband as a prop, and one who'd best remain silent or else, as she plans exactly what she wants on her Special Pretty Princess Center of Attention Day of All Days, after which the actual Being Married is sure to be a let-down, when the aforementioned Silent Prop Husband will finally have a purpose as the recipient of much scorn and derision, especially as she finally lets her crash-diet starved body have a meal, and then blames him for her weight-gain, the nuisance of thank you notes for all the wedding loot they recieved, etc. Because really, those women terrify me. And there seem to be a LOT of them.

fortunately i've found a whole new conundrum

I made it to the jewelry trade show on Friday, and had great success -- I got a super deal on enough gold chain to make b-maid bracelets ($3.85/foot!) and finally figured out what to put on top of those cufflink bases. Green-hued mother of pearl beads, $3 for a strand of twice as much as I needed. So now I'll have these to give as gifts to the groomsmen: (In retrospect, that's a terrible backdrop for the photo -- my apologies.) I really tried to go with something they could use again. Believe me, I spent waaay too much time dithering about going for something a bit "bling-ier", to match the b-maid earrings, plus a few other even sillier ideas. But in the end, I think I did good. Mr. UB agrees.

Are brides "supposed to" give gifts to the groomsmen? I don't care -- I adore all of the guys who'll be standing up with My Guy, and it seems unfair to only give thank-yous to the people standing behind me at the ceremony. Best of all, it came to a total of less than $14 for all 5 pairs.

So, with the attendant thank-you gifts under control, I decided it was time to move onto a whole new problem: Project Honeymoon.

Mind you, I only consider it a problem in the budgetary sense. I have a permanent case of wanderlust, and I still feel the pull of my ex-patriate past at regular intervals. Neither Mr. UB nor I are afraid to fly, and we both love adventure. So it's definitely not the travelling itself that's the "problem." Rather, it's trying to find something that feels appropriately special that we can afford.

Starting with our original ideas, Mr. UB first thought of Italy. Rome, specifically. Which is a place I absolutely want to go with him ... just not for our honeymoon. Why? Because I lived in Italy for 4 years, and Rome was my 2nd home while I was there. So perhaps it's weird (he kinda thinks it is), but I want our honeymoon to be a place that's brand new to both of us, so that we can discover it together. Or alternately, a place where I won't mind failing to show him everything that I love, just in case we never make it out of the hotel room.

My original idea looked like this: Right? Right?! There's just one problem: the part of the world where most of the places that look like this is located, specifically Bora Bora/Mo'orea, is "pricey," to put it mildly. As in most of them start at $900/night. Ouch. (Have I mentioned that I have exquisite taste?)

So: back to the drawing board (aka Google.) I actually got a manageable amount of hits for "Over Water Hotel" once I took out the duplicates. And a few were easily eliminated right away: a lake in Switzerland (not tropical), the coast of northern California (not exotic) and a place in Bermuda (just not "it") are out. There's a beautiful place in Western Samoa that's run by an American couple who dropped out of the game a few years back, and it looks amazing.

source

It's called Coconuts Beach Club, and it's not outrageously priced. The trouble spot is getting to Samoa. It's admittedly less trouble from L.A. than from just about anywhere else besides Australia, but that doesn't make it easy. Even if you don't have a layover in Fiji, the positioning of the Int'l Date Line means that getting there technically takes three days!! Even if you "get them back" on the return trip, it seems like the kind of travel that needs a longer time frame than we're likely to have. Oh, and those flights are about $1000/person. Again: ouch.

And then I stumbled onto this place. It's in Panama. Now, just to prove that I still have a shred of sanity, my first reaction was Panama?!? But upon closer inspection, I have to admit that I'm falling for the place. It's a very small resort, and it's actually affordable. During the time period when we'd be going, those bungalows are under $350/night. And non-stop flights from L.A. to Panama City can be had for under $500/person. You can even get there for less, if you're willing to take a flight with stops. Normally, I'd totally go for that, but I hope we can splurge $100 since it's our honeymoon. Also, we'd probably have to spend a night in Panama City before the island-hopper plane to the resort, and that could be really cool. I don't think I'd want to spend a lot of time there, but one night would definitely be fun.

So now it's time to see what we can actually afford, and try to make it happen. Maybe we can do one of those travel registry things? I much prefer a swell vacation to kitchen stuff. I'll buy my own damn blender.

ribbon palooza, etc.

I found an incredible deal on scoops & tongs for our candy buffet. $0.60 each. I went with big spoons instead of fancy candy scoops because I figure we'll actually have use for these in our kitchen. You know, in the several years of being married, after the big fancy party that lasts one day.

$1.70 each. All at Vine American Party Store.

With slightly more than $1 worth of cream ribbon (total, that is), they now look like this: Total cost: $10.30, and no shipping costs. The website for Vine American is pretty rudimentary, and you can't shop online. But if you're in L.A. and can stop by (and have time to dig) they've got some deals that beat craft stores. By a lot. (Also, no hot glue gun injury this time. I'm improving!)

Next up: supplies for our invitations arrived yesterday. (Side note: our UPS guy is really nice. I should really tell him why he's suddenly seeing me so often, and why there's slightly less room for me in my living room each time he stops by.)
They came with a very nice, unintentionally hilarious note from the person who tool our order. Hand-writted "Thank you!" and signature ... and just below it "*no returns ... no refunds" in the tiniest print. With an actual asterisk. Good thing I intend to keep it, I guess.

Here's what the paper stuff will look like when it's all put together: (The text will be printed on the cream-colored paper ... but in a burst of forethought I decided to run off my samples on plain stuff, until I got it right. And I now have the proper tool for getting the stamp aligned properly, too.) I have 2 options for tying the varying pieces together:


I think I prefer the second one, with just the raffia. Which is fine -- I've decided that I want to keep things as neutral as possible, overall (a reaction to the neckties, possibly?), and I'm sure I'll find another use for the green ribbon. Besides, it only cost $1/spool.

I did a little scrounging for something to put on the cufflink bases I bought on eBay, but came up empty. Then I remembered that Gem Faire is coming back to Santa Monica -- next week, even! Hooray for my flyer that showed up in the mail, complete with Free Entry Coupon. If you want to go, they have 2-for-1 entry coupons that you can print on their website. Or just see when it's travelling trade show goodness is coming closer to your area.

Lastly: some love for all things Google. I thought I'd have to buy some special kind of goo in order to clean the candle holders that I found on Craigslist, until I searched "candle wax removal." Turns out you can pop them in the freezer for a few hours, then basically pop the stuck, melted candle end right out. Yay, free solutions.

**Post-lastly: I just got off the phone with Mr. UB. He went out last night to meet some friends, and learned that someone who used to work at a restaurant with his roommate just started her own catering company. Without him even asking, she offered to cater our reception for cost. Excuse me -- I have to go dance around my living room now.

more shopping success

Mr. UB & I went to downtown L.A. yesterday, on our first joint shopping trip for wedding stuff. Our mission: groomsmen's ties. (You see why I thought he'd be interested in joining me. I swear I don't normally burden him with these things.) And I was surprised by how quickly we found success: I'm not totally crazy about the slightly irredescent thing going on, but he really thinks it's cool. And frankly, that's much more important to me than satisfying my admittedly hard-to-please asthetic sensibilities. Also, check out how nicely they match my shoes: Pretty damn good, I say. (I want the rest of the attire stuff for the ceremony to skew a little lighter now.) Best part: $5 each. For silk. AND we had enough time left on our parking meter to grab some super-yummy Mexican food for lunch. Booya.

I've also had some great success on Craigslist: There's more than one layer of candles there, and all I need is some wax remover to clean up the holders. All of the above, which is exactly the kind of thing I was planning to buy, for $20. Thanks, Lane in Santa Monica! I got this for $2. Thank you, Sae Jin in Pasadena!

I'm going to hit the Rose Bowl Flea Market in 2 weeks -- my bargain hunter has officially been awakened. And now that I don't teach until 2pm on Sundays, I can actually get out there & have some time to dig around.

progress (is the opposite of Congress)

One more thing done in my assembling a wedding dress without a wedding dress shop*: I bought my petticoat today. * I had absolutely NO idea that buying a wedding dress involved purchasing more than a dress. Sheesh. Somebody might've warned me. To date, I've bought: a dress, a petticoat, a bra, panties, shoes, earrings and a hat/veil thingy. Future Brides take heed. I suspect this dept. is a major source of budget-busting. But I digress ...

I originally saw it last week in a vintage store near my apartment. Just to be sure, I did a lot of looking around this weekend in other vintage/thrift shops. It turns out that a petticoat without the wedding dress attached is rather difficult to come by. The only other ones I found were much more expensive, and there were only two of those. So I went back to the first place today, and hooray! it was still there. The best part:

That's right. $17.00. Now all I have to do is get some colored tulle & attach it to the inside layer of this thing, so that it hangs down below the dress' hem a bit. Flash of color + extra inch of length = double win! Major shout-out to the store where I found it:

By the way, I've found SO many cool clothes in perfect condition during this search ... why the hell did I fall out of my vintage habit & go back to paying retail?!?

The other thing I got this week is these: I'm going to make cuff links for Mr. UB & his groomsmen. Now all I have to do is come up with an idea for what to put on top of these. Feel free to leave ideas in the "comments", because so far I've got nothing .... (Photo credit: me; eBay seller here.)

In other Mr. UB-related news, he now has wi-fi at his place. Which means I can bring my laptop over & cruise my wedding porn while a) we're watching football, or b) he's playing World of Warcraft. I think this is a fabulous development. He asked me what I'm going to do with my time after we're married.

My response: Home Decor porn.

ack!

I have seen the future, and it foreshadows my doom:





I can only hope there's no DC Universe Online* cake hiding out there ... (gulp).
(photo 1 from whoops -- please tell me! photo 2 from Let Them Eat Cake, via Cake Wrecks)

*bucksboys.com: select "content & viral", then "justin janowitz", then the bottom left video. That's Mr. UB in action. Yes, it takes forever to load.