wedding recap: ceremony readings

With a guest list of only 40 people, the Mr. & I wanted to keep the number of "attendants" to a reasonable number. (Yes, that's me adding the parentheses -- there are some things I just can't take too seriously. Like having people "attend" to us. But I digress ...)

The only problem with this was how to include as many people in the goings-on as possible. We had His Parents enter at the beginning of the processional, and both My Mom & My Dad walked me down the aisle. And we included two more of our friends by asking them to do readings. (Yes, the 2nd person reading is dressed as a groomsman -- he generously stepped into that role, too, for a friend who couldn't make it from the east coast.)

So: the near-&-dear people were in ... but what to have them read? My brain was glazing over at this point, so thankfully they both stepped up with suggestions. Perfect suggestions.

First, our friend T. read Shakespeare's Sonnet #119.
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

(We're both actors, so this was both lovely & extra-fitting.)

Then groomsman R. read "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Seuss. (I credited him as Theodor Geisel on the programs, so as not to give it away.)
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So get on your way!

(We're also both very silly.)

It was the perfect combination of "us" ....

wedding recap: random reflections

There's something funny about having a wedding in a public place -- in our case, a city park that's also a tourist attraction. But the size of our wedding (30-ish people in a site that can hold up to 250) didn't exactly call for ushers, and without amplified music I somehow thought we'd be ... unobtrusive?

On such a gorgeous Saturday, the POFA is filled with people taking photos -- I saw a quinceñera and one other wedding party -- not to mention locals soaking up the nice weather. I figured that the folks setting up (the groomsmen & My Dad) might have to flash our permit to shoo people away from the area we'd reserved, but didn't think much more about it.

What I didn't expect was that when we turned to walk down the aisle together, a crowd had gathered & was watching us. As in, they hadn't just glanced our way & kept going -- they'd stopped & listened. We must've had at least 70 extra people who clapped & cheered for us during our recessional. Amazing.

Also: apparently it's good luck to get your picture taken with the bride & groom.

wedding recap: the ceremony

We got crazy-lucky with the venue for our ceremony. There's normally a two year waiting list for the Palace of Fine Arts in San Francisco, but it's been undergoing a multi-phase earthquake retrofitting for several years. (The history of the POFA is a fascinating mix of art & happenstance -- it was never meant to be a permanent structure, but citizen's groups & philanthropists have banded together to save it several times. Those efforts continue to this day.) The previous phase finished early, which meant that it was available from mid-May through mid-August. Construction began again on Monday, so there won't be any more weddings there until at least late 2010. Like I said ... crazy-lucky!

This was the set-up for our intimate 30-person ceremony:

I was walked down the aisle by both by mom & dad.
I don't recall what I said at that moment, but it must've been funny.

The paper pomanders took forever to make, but really looked pretty.

Our officiant was a friend who's wedding we went to last year -- she's getting her master's degree in theology, and was thrilled that we asked her to marry us. Having someone who really knows us was wonderful.
Thank goodness she asked us to take each other's hands -- I was so emotional that I needed to hang onto him.

Part of our ceremony included honoring our parents.

Two of our friends gave readings.
This is our friend T reading Sonnet 119 by William Shakespeare. The groomsman on the far right, R, read "Oh, The Places You'll Go!" by Dr. Seuss. The fact that they came to us independently with those passages shows just how well our friends know us!

I've heard lots of people talk about how, after all the craziness of planning, the actual day just flies by ... but I felt incredibly present for the entire thing. The hugeness of the step we were taking, the love that we were expressing for each other, the people who were present to share the moment & support us -- it was almost overwhelming, but I didn't miss a thing.

We said our vows, exchanged rings ... and then we were married.

all pics except 2nd from bottom by Marija Thomas Photography

2nd from bottom by His Mom

I know, I know ...

I'm being lazy. I know. I'm supposed to be filing daily reports filled with pictures & ancedotes from "the big day" ... and yet, I'm not. I owe at least 3 posts to the good people at Weddzilla, who added me to their team just in time for my Blog Ennui to set in. So what gives?

Mostly, I've just been busy getting back to my regular life. The Mr. is hard at work, and I'm wrestling with the geometry problem of fitting two lives into this 1-bedroom apartment. And anyone who wants proof that this is True Love: I emptied a closet for him. I put clothes into boxes into storage. I put away my cashmere, dammit! (Sure, it's August in Los Angeles, and I'll swap those out with my tank tops for the 3 weeks in January when it gets brisk here -- but that's not the point.)

We've also been overwhelmed with the generosity of our friends. The UPS guy & I are totally bonding (I think he looks tired; he thinks we need an air conditioner -- apparently, I'm literally a hot mess) as he brings us more boxes of awesomeness, nearly every day. I'm itching to get cracking on the thank-yous, but the Mr. has An Idea for those, so it's going to take a little extra time.

Also, for everyone who asks me "when do I get to see pictures?", my stock reply is "as soon as I get to see them!" And after seeing the first few picks from our ceremony in San Francisco, our photographer is forever my hero & can take all the damn time she needs/pleases.

Here's just a little bit of what I'm talking about:

The boys after they finished primping. They clean up pretty nice.

Putting the hat/veil/thingy on for the first of many times (silly wind!) with T -- I can't thank her enough for all her help. (Not just with the hat.)

Checking my ... "dress" ... with His Sis. Double-stick tape is your friend!

More soon, I promise.

(giggle)

Two of our friends are going to do readings at our wedding. (That's what you call it, right? When somebody reads something during the ceremony? "Doing a reading"? ... Why does everything associated with weddings sounds so pretentious?) Ahem. Sorry. I'm more prone than usual to those kinds of outbursts as the Day draws near. Where was I?

Oh, right. Two of our friends will be reading something during our ceremony. (Much better.) When we asked them, we didn't have anything in mind. And I've been only moderately successful at finding things to suggest to them. The interwebs are chock full of ideas ... but I manage to read roughly 2.3 of them at any given time, before my brain glazes over & I find myself skimming just the first two lines before deciding "nope!" and moving on.

Fortunately, our friends are a) resourceful, and b) know us oh-so-well. And independently of each other, they came up with two passages that could not represent the Mr. & I more perfectly.

Shakespeare

&

Dr. Seuss

It's all starting to come together. (Which is a relief, because I had my first bona-fide anxiety dream about the wedding a few nights ago. It was the night before the wedding, and we realized that we'd forgotten to write a ceremony. Thank goodness T. and R. are there to make sure that doesn't happen.)

ohmygoshthankyooouuu!!

We just booked our restaurant for the post-ceremony dinner! (No, it's not "the reception" -- that's in L.A. Because I like to make things complicated.) The ever-amazing His Dad came through, thanks to a friend at a restaurant & a little negotiating savvy. We've got a really yummy 3-course menu (apps, entrees & dessert) that includes 2 drinks per person, plus no corkage fee for one case of champagne. Woo freakin' hoo!!

Also, it's pretty.
I don't know if this will be our space, but it's one that the website let me grab, so there you are. It's gonna look kind of, if not exactly, like this.

I am SO excited that this is done. It was one of the last major pieces missing from our puzzle, and I'm hugely relieved to have it clicked into place. Best of all: it's really close to our hotel, an easy cab/public transport ride away. (S.F. caveat to any potentially ambitious walkers: remember those streets aren't flat. They're HILLS!) Oh, and it fits our budget: just under $2800 for 43 people. Unbelieveable.

Also, a major shout-out to My Dad, who gave me a list of about a dozen alternate places to look at, if this one didn't come through. My brain was waaay too frazzled to do that -- you are a rock star.

If you're in the city, please give these people some love! Belden Taverna

whirlwind venue search breakdown

We saw a ton of places in S.F. on Tuesday, in our attempt to see if there's another venue we love that fits our budget. First stop: Golden Gate Park, which Mr. UB's sister & her husband were kind enough to live near. (Thanks, guys!) Candidate #1: The Shakespeare Garden:
Okay, that's pretty darn sweet. It even has an aisle. The sundial's a little inconveniently placed, but hopeful my Dad would be able to prevent my walking directly into it. (I'm a rare level of clumsy.) Here's the reverse view of the arbor:

(He's so cute.)

The rest of the space looks like this:
It's not very big, but neither is our wedding. And I have a deep affinity for all things Bard. Still, in the late summer/fall, those trees will no longer be blossoming. (I asked. They said no. The nerve.) So it's a "Strong Maybe," but there's lots left to see.

Candidate 2: The Chinese Pavillion:
It's in the middle of a big lake in the park, and it looks really pretty, nestled among all that greenery. Close-up, it's very colorful:

It even has a cute little bridge that we could make into a pseudo-aisle:
But there's a stone (read: immovable) table surrounded by stone stools dead-center in the middle of it. And it has a rail inside that would make seats very hard to arrange, even in the round. Plus, I think Mr. UB put it best: "It makes a very strong cultural statement, which is neither of our cultures." Fair enough. No-go.

There was actually another place next to the Pavillion that we both really liked, but it's way too much work:
Us & our officiant up there on the bridge?

Our guests on chairs down there? Vice-versa? I know, I know ... totally impractical. But maybe some other non-satin shoe wearing bride can make it work. Moving on.

Candidate #4: The Fuschia Garden:
I hope it's more spectacular when things are blooming, because at the moment it looks like a nice little corner, but that's it. We both want something a little more ... special for our wedding. I'm sure that lady on the bench was wondering why the hell I took her picture, though.

Not-really-a-Candidate: The Conservatory of Flowers:
It's not on our list because it's too expensive. But we walked right past it & I liked the building so I took a picture. Another reason why it's out of the question: it's basically a giant hothouse. My hair would frizz.

Lest we lose our minds, a brief time-out: Random stuff in the park that made me happy:
I don't know what kind of flowers these are, but the sun was illuminating them beautifully. I felt like I was pretending to be Peonies. And speaking of Scottish people:

A free-roaming bagpiper, fully kilted-out. I love the sound of the bagpipes, but when they're played badly it sounds like cats being walked on. This guy rocked.

A cellist on the run.

The architecture junkie in me loves the deYoung Museum. You can go to the viewing platform on the top floor for free. (Hooray, free!)

You can see the whole city from up there. This is the street His Sister lives on.

The Golden Gate, peeking over a hill.

Okay -- enough screwing around. We're on a freakin' mission here, people. Back to work!

Candidate #5: The Music Concourse:
His Mom suggested it, and it is pretty. But it's exposed to one of the busiest areas of the park (between 2 museums). Oh, and it's being earthquake retrofitted, too, just like our original venue. We're not doing that again.

Leaving GGP ... Candidate #6: Levi Strauss Park:
Another place suggested by His Mom. (And by the way, our people have been amazing at rallying to help us solve this.) It's a tiny little park down by the Embarcadero. And again, it's very pretty, but the only area where you could possibly have a ceremony is tiny:

(Stoopid people walking into my frame.)

It's also privately owned, which might complicate renting it. Oh, and the only parking around it is meters, which cost 10¢ for every 2.5 minutes!!! What. The. Fuck? Never mind.

And finally ... because I made him go take a look ... Candidate The Winner: The Palace of Fine Arts:
I mean seriously, people. Look at that. And it costs the same as the other places we looked at -- $650 for three hours. It's available from May 15 until August 15. August 15th could happen.

I've obviously been thinking a lot about this whole location drama, and wondering if the urge to dig in my heels is perhaps the slightest bit 'Zilla-ish. Lucky for me, my friend Tolley called:

Her: I don't know if anyone's had this conversation with you, so if I'm over-stepping my bounds, let me know.

Me: Okay?

Her: I read about your date/location dilemma in your blog, and you're being very practical.

Me: I'm trying!

Her: I just wanted to point out that it seems like having your wedding at the Palace of Fine Arts has become your dream. Maybe it didn't exist before you acquired the ring, but it exists now.

Me: Kind of, yeah. I'd agree with that.

Her: Then will you please stop being so damn practical, and be a fucking bride for a moment? If you want that to happen and the date has to change, the people who love you will be there.

Me: Thank god you called ...

I have good friends.

This post has gotten very long, but I'm going to write more soon about this part. The "It's not the absolute cheapest way to make it happen, but it fits our budget and we love it" part. Consider yourselves warned.

poufy things

Our ceremony site is pretty freakin' spectacular:
It's also a city park, which means lots of restrictions. Fortunately, the Pretty, the Rules, and Our Impoverished State all converge in one lovely reality: not a lot of ceremony decor. Don't need it, can't have it, couldn't afford it anyway.

We're basically going to have a few rows of chairs with an aisle runner in between them. I want to hang some pomanders from the chairs along the aisle to pretty things up. I've been looking into chair rental companies in San Francisco (how did people get anything done before the internet?) and I've decided on the first thing I Want But Am Officially Giving Up:
I always thought that I wanted -- had to have, even -- these chiavari chairs at the ceremony. They're classic, they're gorgeous ... and they don't come cheaper than $8/chair. Plus delivery. Since that's not going to happen on our budget, enter Team B:
Not quite as uptown, perhaps, but a lovely, respectable chair nonetheless. And they're white, which kinda fits with the whole "we're having a wedding" theme of our event. And at $2.25, they're much, much friendlier.

Now all I need is a way to get them to the site on our own. A $200 delivery charge on $65 worth of chairs seems a little ... ridiculous. But back to the poufy stuff:

I completed my test run on the two d.i.y. paper pomanders, and I think we have a pretty clear winner.

First, the paper punch & pearl-headed pins version, courtesy of Once Wed. (The grey bow is just what I had lying around the apartment. I'll get the green seam binding for the real ones.) Pretty, elegant, easy to make, not too-time intensive (about 2 hours) and we can cart 'em back to L.A. for the reception without too much trouble. Second ... sigh. Budget Savvy Bride's blog is where I got the idea, but hers looks ... less sucking-out-loud ... than mine does. I couldn't make the paper stop being too flat/too clumpy as I unfolded it. And I didn't hot-glue the wires in so I could re-use the styrofoam ball, but it's pretty precariously constructed in it's current state. It looks a little less "classic wedding", and a little (okay, a lot) more "my 5 year-old niece made this in kindergarten" than I was hoping for.

So far, we've got Chair B and Pomander A. And one more poofy thing, to boot:
My petticoat has officially acquired its green tulle layer. Also, my dress is no longer too short. Mad, mad love for R & L Tailors on Pico.

weekend round-up

It was quite the busy weekend here at Camp Un-Bride. I didn't get any posting done because my work schedule is such that I'm busiest on Saturday & Sunday ... so Monday is actually my day to get some rest. And on that note, "thanks" to whomever rang my phone at 8:30 this morning. But moving on ...

Early Sunday morning, I drug poor Mr. UB out to the Rose Bowl flea market in Pasadena. I'd told him a few days before that I planned to go, and asked if he wanted to join me. He agreed, under no duress whatsoever -- something I needed to remind him of more than once as I tried to coax, then harangue, then physically drag him out of bed before 8 a.m. He's lucky he's so cute when he's grouchy.

Anyway, we had pretty good luck. I found these, which I'll probably use to decorate the table around our cake: They're real crystal pieces from a chandelier. I can totally re-use these afterwards to make a cool light fixture. (You know, when we eventually figure out where we're going to live.) $5.

We also grabbed two pretty metal planters. I want to use one of them to hold the programs at our ceremony, but got 2 to use later ... again, in the Theoretical Home. Whatever -- they need some cleaning up, but a) I have time for such a project at the moment, and b) the color underneath all that rust (pale green) actually goes with our wedding stuff. (left side is partially cleaned; right side is how we found them)

He thought we should leave them all "rustic" looking. I maintained that "rustic" does NOT equal "rusty", and think they'll still have that cool weathered look even once I finish scrubbing off as much gunk as I can stand. The downside to being "right" about this = I can't make him do the scrubbing. Oh well -- my hands always look like hell, anyway. (It's all the rubbing alcohol from trying not to lose my grip on the pole. You know -- at work.)

We also found one Not Really For The Wedding, But Freakin' Awesome Anyway bargain: It's a Nambe serving bowl. I didn't know what these were until my friend Tolley showed me. They're made from an 8-metal alloy that holds temperature -- hot food stays hot & cold food stays cool. I did add two of them to our registry, even though they're pricey. Macy's has the exact same bowl here for $115. I have this one for $20. To repeat a phrase I've used previously: Booyah.

Today's (Monday's) errands led to another purchase that cost less than planned. I went to buy this pretty guest book that I spotted a while back on the Crane's website: ... only to discover that it's no longer available in this color. I failed to find it anywhere else on the 'net (CL, eBay, etc. -- all the usual suspects) so I decided to see if any of the local stores who carry Crane & Co. products still had one in stock. (Besides, shipping charges = my new Enemy #1.) I struck out in the first place I tried, so I ventured a little further afield to a store in Beverly Hills. And while they didn't have that particular book, which by the way was $39 + shipping, they did have this: The flash over-exposed the photo, but it's cream-colored linen with "Guests" embossed in a simple typewriter-style font. The spool of gray ribbon next to it is the one it came with. I switched in with some green ribbon that I already had. (It's lighter than it looks in this pic). Not only do I like this size(about 10" square) better than the teensy 8x6 books that are out there, mascarading as photo album-sized in their web photos, but check this: "Perfect Guest Book"? I'll say. The store in question is William Ernest Brown on Beverly Drive. The ladies who work there are wonderfully helpful and nice. I spotted (and forced myself to give wide berth to) a large notebook labelled "Cartier Wedding Stationary" on a desk, so if you're on the hunt for higher-end goods, this is your store.

I've been doing more online reading about our ceremony venue, the Palace of Fine Arts in S.F., hoping to find out what the diameter of the rotunda is. I'm trying to see how long of an aisle runner we should get -- since they're priced by length, I don't want one that's too long. Nor do I want one that will end up looking puny if it's too short.

I found the answer to my question (1,100 feet -- I guess we better get the long one) and I also found some amazing Palace-related info. First, there's this image from an ad for the Pan Pacific Exhibition:Thank goodness we didn't do hard-copy Save-The-Dates, because I'd be filled with regret that we didn't use this image on postcards. I'd love to find a way to work this into our programs, or some other element that we'll be making/using. But even more beautiful are the Novagems.

"What are Novagems?" you might ask. Well, if you rely on Google, you might think that they're related to something incredibly nerdy. In fact, I had to look through hundreds of entries that were variations on forums talking about "... so are Nova Gems for Star Captains only or can any1 get em?" to find these:



















"More than 100,000 Novagems graced the Tower of Jewels at the 1915 [Exhibition]. The gems' mirrored backs created an incredible light show when the Tower was illuminated. Smaller Novagems, like [these], were sold as souveniers." poster & quote source

Can you imagine? Because just in case you can't, check this: Click on the picture to see a larger image. Source here.

The Tower of Jewels wasn't one of the buildings that lasted beyond the end of the Exhibition -- all of its structures were intended to be temporary. The Palace itself survived only because the citizens of San Francisco organized to save it. Somehow I think this image would be just as beautiful if it hadn't been so ephemeral ... I wonder what else was lost before there was a camera phone in every pocket to document things?

Oh, and nobody's selling those babies on eBay. I checked.