Something ELSE I didn't know existed: Bridesmaids invitations. (Really? Sheesh.) And here I thought I would, you know, ASK the women I want to stand up for me. Besides, I have an extreme aversion to anything cutesy, and I don't have the time right now to search for a style that I don't hate. I think my time might be better spent on things like a location, or a dress that won't break me.
So anyway, if I stumble across an invite of this type that I like, I might grab it & mail it out. It could make a nice keep-sake/scrapbook item. But in the meantime, I just emailed them:
Hello, my favorite females. I am sending this email to forewarn you all that you're on my list to be bridesmaids. And although I know C__ is going to be disappointed, there will be a distinct lack of pastel satin in your futures, despite this assignment. I've come the the conclusion that I don't want you wasting your hard-earned cash on such nonsense, wherever it might be located on a monstroso-meter. If you feel an uncontrollable urge to part with another couple hundred dollars to celebrate this blessed event, I'll let you know where we're registered as soon as that happens.
At any rate, I'm letting you off the hook & opting for the LBD of your choice. You can thank K__ when you meet her (that's Mr. UB's sis, btw), because I'm blatantly stealing this look from her wedding. S__, please don't think this means you have to wear something that's already in your closet ( ... like you would.)
I have no idea which one of you I'll stick with being Maid of Honor (and gosh, how excited am I to even be thinking about this stuff) -- I'll let you know when we've found a location & see who needs the extra hassle in her life the most at that time. However, if you don't think that this is the thing for you because a) you're just too busy, b) you never liked me any way, or c) you're pissed about the No Chiffon policy, please let me know. I promise not to hold a grudge. But I do know where all of you live.
For the record, I've never spent an hour imagining my wedding day, and after a single night of perusing websites + a few magazines on loan from my upstairs neighbor, I'm already queasy. And you have my absolute permission to quote me on that if you see even a hint of Bridezilla behavior.
It worked! They've all said yes (!) with 1 exception: I haven't heard back from my sister. I hope she didn't take the part about "wasting your hard-earned cash" on a dress personally ... oh dear.
In better news, K__, the sis of Mr. UB, who just got married herself this March (in a fantastically low-key yet meaningful affair) has already started sharing her anti-bride advice. Yay K!
I think Emily Post would be pleased.