08 July 2009

it just gets better

She was serious. Insane Caterer #3 has responded to Mr. UB's email, and she was serious. She claims that we never discussed our budget (sure, because it's easy to forget that insignificant detail in a vendor meeting), and reminded him that she hadn't even included a price for renting china. Which is odd, because he & I both recall talking about how we'd like to use eco- (and wallet-) friendly bamboo.

Other things I cannot begin to fathom: If we're paying $350 each for two chefs, and somehow have the only buffet in the world that requires six waiters, then what pray tell do the other three kitchen staff do? Forgive my ignorance, but if they aren't cooking the food or serving it, then what exactly are they doing? I imagine it's pretty special since it costs $300 per person.

Also, we really look forward to the explanation of her $2000 "production fee", which as best as I can tell from the fine print seems to include nothing more than driving the food to our location. Yes, of course -- the cost of fuel has skyrocketed in the last few years, and I'm sure that most people hold their events in her freaking kitchen, so naturally we'd expect to pay a 20% premium to have the food delivered to our venue.

Now I just have to figure out how to let the person who recommended this psycho know that "it didn't really work out."

On the upside, I managed not to swear today. At least, not here in print.

9 comments:

lizholly said...

that sucks and is totally disappointing, some don't understand the budget concept.
try huntington catering.

samantha said...

hahahah - love you.. it feels better to write it down doesn't it?

sorry. but thanks for the laugh..

Christmas said...

I find not swearing a complete fucking waste of my gin tinged breath. Love you, girl! Hang in there!

Nicole said...

oh my gosh we had a VERY similar experience with a big shot caterer in Toronto. Not cool.

good story!! haha

anna and the ring said...

What crazy planet is she on? Bye bye crazy lady!

I'm so happy you can laugh about it. Well I hope it's laughter and not insane crazy laughter like you're turning into an evil genius. Although I doubt that would be so bad! (PS My word verification is holdsilos - I think it's a sign for you not to launch a nuclear attack!?!)

nepabride said...

Oh, I'm sorry she's so crazy cakes, but this is too funny. Tell her to hit the road! I'm sure you'll find someone worthwhile soon.

Mr.Un-Bride said...

You neglected to mention the $200 day rate for scullery. Yeah, the freaking dishwasher is making forty bucks an hour!

I'm sorry, but I've worked in a restaurant, and dishwashers are officially minimum wage workers. Unofficially, they're illegals who work for, I kid you not, half of minimum wage. I'm sure the caterer is taking a cut of the diswasher's wages, but for that price I could have an army of the guys outside the Home Depot letting us eat off of their hairy backsides if I wanted to.

Good news: Pizza and beer is cheap. Also: We've found some catering restaurants that are very affordable. Great news: The venue is willing to work with us on this!

Wistries: From the maker of Pampers™, Wistries™ will wipe away diaper rash with a flick of the wrist!

un-bride said...

@anna and the ring: holdsilos - how appropriate!

@mrub: um, I'd rather go hungry than eat off anyone's hairy backside at our wedding reception. But thanks for thinking outside the ... nevermind.

ya said...

jeez. what a nut job! who has that kind of money to waste?! I'm curious to know what the total quote was....