17 July 2009

i shall attepmt to remain calm, but no promises ...

We all know about the tradition of the groom not seeing the bride in her dress before the wedding. I have no clue about the reason for/origin of this "rule" -- bad luck? not as exciting? just one of those Things You're Supposed To Do? Sure, I could probably Google & find out, but I don't particularly care. It's important to Mr. UB, though, which means I'm happy to play along. I think it's kind of adorable that I need to warn him when I post pics of my head thingy, petticoat, etc.

But now he's taking this a bit further. He doesn't want me to see what he's wearing before the wedding. As in I've been banned from the expedition with groomsmen to Men's Warehouse this Sunday. Hence the title of this entry ...

Allow me to explain: it's not that I'm some crazed control freak who wants to micro-manage what my man wears, or disregard his opinions about things. Hello -- he has to wear the damned thing, of course he should get what he wants. But ... um ... this is the same man who caused the Irridescent Teal Tie Incident a few months back ... so I have concerns. And I'm trying to stay reasonable -- really trying -- but I don't know about this.

I tried everything, from mentioning that I would consult him on a video game purchase, to acting hurt, (am I proud? no -- I'm human) to outright begging. No dice. What am I supposed to say when he tells me that picking out his tux feels like the last autonomous act of his single-dom? I can't compete with that.

Fortunately, I had one last weapon in my arsenal: his Best Man's cell number. While the above discussion was still going on, I was furiously texting, with lots of things in all caps and way too many exclamation points. And while it turns out that the bastard drives a much harder bargain than I expected from such a normally mild-mannered dude (his 1st response: "What's it worth to you?") ... I have secured his having-my-backness. It's costing me money, drugs and lapdance lessons for his girlfriend, but it's worth it. Now I just have to figure out where to get drugs. And money, for that matter.

So: LL -- if you're reading this, let me re-itereate: NOTHING REFLECTIVE!! Or I'll make you guys wear those effing ties!

*Please note that the purpose of this entry is to (hopefully) get the Bridal Blogoverse to weigh in and take my side, regardless of my argument's merit. And babe: love you!

14 comments:

Victory Bird said...

This is something I really don't understand, and another way my finance surprised me in his desire to be traditional. I actually kind of want my finance's opinion on my dress, since it's pretty stylized. I mean, it really sets the tone of the wedding, so come on, I need you on board with it! My question is: how do they coordinate those really really themed weddings? What if I showed up in a super casual, cotton dress and he showed up in a tux? Geez.

So my reasoning to essentially pick out his attire boiled down to 1) he was not making quick enough decisions and 2) it needs to complement my 60s style dress that he's never freakin seen!

I think you did the only thing you could, just giving them serious guidelines and death threats. Hope he doesn't show up in a Zoot suit;)

CheapAndEasy said...

I would totally have a hard time with that as well. After all, we do the majority of the color planning & decisions on decorating. Sure they have their input but let's be real, we're the one's researching, blogging & pricing. I kind of think of the tux's the same way. I wouldn't tell him what to do but I would just want some input.

But if it's a deal breaker, what's a girl to do? I think you've done all you can short of calling the store & discussing it with the sales person. Which may not be a bad idea.

anna and the ring said...

Oh that orange tux is fabulous!

If his taste is truly dubious I would go down the route of
1. I love you
2. Sometimes you don't look as good as you could
3. I love you
4. Can I show you some things which would make you look smokin' hot
5. I love you
6. I don't need to see the final outfit altogether but I need to make sure you are going to look smokin' hot
7. I love you

Christmas Collins - Total Beer Snob said...

Do they MAKE a World of Warcraft tux?

Mr.Un-Bride said...

Christmas... you have no idea!!!


"undismst" - Noun. A collection of consonants at the end of a word that forces one to come up with a terrible definition of said word. And boy is this definition terrible.

Mrs Nipper Knapp said...

Before our wedding, I decided to get a box of gardenias for my hair, and for Nipper's boutonniere. On the day of the wedding, I was arranging some flowers, and picked out this giant pink waxy flower that would have made Georgia O'Keefe blush, and stuck it on Nipper's suit. "Hey maybe you should wear this", I said.

It was hideous, and shocking. People had to avert their gaze. And when his best friend saw it, all he could say was WOH! Before the ceremony, but after photos, I saw it, and said, "Oh, that looks terrible, and put the gardenia on him". He said everyone was too afraid to tell me it was awful. Nice. I thought I was a "low key" bride. But apparently, I was terrifying... Good luck. I hope he gets something good:)

Mr.Un-Bride said...

We ended up with a 2-button classic tux, flat front white shirt, a green tie for me (the UB and I are going to have to pick the exact shade together so it matches her slip), and blue ties for the groomsmen. Matching pocket squares all around. Oh, and no vest. Eww vests.

"exurowl" - A species of pheasant native to Chile that is known for its high, warbling call.

samantha said...

Awww... I think Mr. UB is adorable for wanting to go alone on this one (and good job on what you picked, it sounds handsome as hell)

...and you could have always used the Green Jacket (or was it jeans?) as evidence that sometimes Mr. UB needs a helping hand...

PS - my dress will be ready hopefully next week. I think you will approve. I hope so anyway.

Mr.Un-Bride said...

It was a green denim jacket and green jeans. Of different shades. Come on Sunny, get it right!

"craecra" - The cloaca-analogue which hermaphroditic chickens possess.

un-bride said...

And they were both hideous. Hence my trepidation.

But it sounds like you've done an excellent job this time. And you're awfully cute when you get all defensive.

gangsta bride said...

Ha yeah- i never understood that tradition but it does make it more exciting. I would have a friend of MOH spy on them and make sure its nothing too crazy.

Peonies and Polaroids said...

My cousin wore that orange suit on the left to his prom. With the hat.

the un-bride said...

@Peonies: please tell me you have a photo of that. And that you're sending it to me.

Peonies and Polaroids said...

I'll see what I can do!